Well I didn't make it to the Black Crowes NYE show. All week long my nerves were working overtime. As the date kept getting closer so did my worrying. My worrying on still not knowing who would be going with me, worrying about the trip itself, wondering why the hell did I even buy tickets in the first place. I mean NYE in NYC, was I insane?
Whatever form of anxiety I have is crippling. I swear I wake up every single day wondering if this is my last day. My obsession with death is ruining me. Always thinking I'm about to die. Now I'm at the point where I hate leaving the house for the simplest of tasks. I'm just about at the breaking point. I'm seriously thinking of getting counseling. Put me on happy candy, dope me up, just help me get over this unhealthy obsession.
The first step is losing weight. That's really the cause of all my troubles. Underneath all this I do have legitimate medical conditions. My WPW Syndrome for one. And of course being this overweight is a hinderence. I just want to get my confidence back. I swear I was not like this in my thinner days. Andy has started his diet, time for me to as well.
The whole concert ticket thing was a nightmare. I guess I do feel vindicated because I checked my bank account yesterday and now saw I was refunded the $195 exchanged ticket rate. I have to call my bank about this. I'm so confused as to what the hell is going on. But imagine if I did work my courage up and went all the way up to NYC only to find I had no tickets at all now? They either should've mailed the new tickets or used ticketfast for those as well. You had to go up there with a photo ID, confirmation email, and the original tickets to get the new ones. Supposedly the original ones were cancelled as soon as you were sent the confirmation email. So I think I would've been fucked anyway. I definately learned a lesson thru all this, I won't travel beyond my usual concert destinations of Atlantic City or Philadelphia until I get some of my old confidence back. At least the perspective people who were going to go with me were all cool about it. I was more worried about dissapointing them more than anything. And even if I didn't get the money back I wasn't concerned. The only reason I got tickets in the first place was because I won the football pool at work. This was "pennies from heaven" anyway so no real loss.
So instead of being up at MSG I went over to Kite and Murdoch's for a small NYE gathering. I wound up spending most of the time on the computer checking out the Crowes message board to get updates as the concert was happening. Quite honestly the set list on paper really doesn't impress me. The better show was the night before which I'm listening to as I type BTW. I can totally understand why the Crowes played it safe for MSG though. Such a big venue and probaly many casual fans there. I'm sure all the knuckleheads from the board will start a major bitchfest over it.
So it was much nicer having a few beers with friends instead. Kim was there telling me she just about has Rocky Horror Picture Show lined up for the Bayshore 8. Cripes, the possible cast was pretty much right there in the room. Hope she can pull it off. I was told I'm going to be Dr. Scott! I pretty much left when I saw Cindy was online. Doc wouldn't let me download MSN on his computer so I rushed home. Thankfully she was still on and we got to chat for awhile. She passed me this great show from 12/30 I'm listening to as well.
Cindy again has been a rock thru all this. I've never had anyone accept me warts and all like this. She's my angel and lifeline. The exciting news is her son may be getting an internship in Wilmington, DE for a year. That's only a little over 2 hours from me. She's already planning a visit if that's the case. 2 years later we may finally meet face to face. 2006 may be the year!
I have an action packed week coming up, first the band is going up to see The Queers play the North Star Bar in Philly Wednesday, then we're playing our own show for a friend of ours birthday Saturday up there in Philly as well. We played there before in the tiny kitchen of their rowhouse for Halloween '04, at least this time we'll be in the basement. Strange request for gaining entry though, you have to have a fake mustache drawn on with magic marker. A mustache party? never heard of such a thing. Well since I already have a real mustache and part of the entertainment, I expect not to get hassled.
Another new year and hopefully resolutions to be kept. The big 4-0 birthday falling on the 31st as well. Lots of possibilities with the band. Hopefully many more Crowes shows. And the cherry on top, the possible visit from Cindy. This might be my year after all.........
Whatever form of anxiety I have is crippling. I swear I wake up every single day wondering if this is my last day. My obsession with death is ruining me. Always thinking I'm about to die. Now I'm at the point where I hate leaving the house for the simplest of tasks. I'm just about at the breaking point. I'm seriously thinking of getting counseling. Put me on happy candy, dope me up, just help me get over this unhealthy obsession.
The first step is losing weight. That's really the cause of all my troubles. Underneath all this I do have legitimate medical conditions. My WPW Syndrome for one. And of course being this overweight is a hinderence. I just want to get my confidence back. I swear I was not like this in my thinner days. Andy has started his diet, time for me to as well.
The whole concert ticket thing was a nightmare. I guess I do feel vindicated because I checked my bank account yesterday and now saw I was refunded the $195 exchanged ticket rate. I have to call my bank about this. I'm so confused as to what the hell is going on. But imagine if I did work my courage up and went all the way up to NYC only to find I had no tickets at all now? They either should've mailed the new tickets or used ticketfast for those as well. You had to go up there with a photo ID, confirmation email, and the original tickets to get the new ones. Supposedly the original ones were cancelled as soon as you were sent the confirmation email. So I think I would've been fucked anyway. I definately learned a lesson thru all this, I won't travel beyond my usual concert destinations of Atlantic City or Philadelphia until I get some of my old confidence back. At least the perspective people who were going to go with me were all cool about it. I was more worried about dissapointing them more than anything. And even if I didn't get the money back I wasn't concerned. The only reason I got tickets in the first place was because I won the football pool at work. This was "pennies from heaven" anyway so no real loss.
So instead of being up at MSG I went over to Kite and Murdoch's for a small NYE gathering. I wound up spending most of the time on the computer checking out the Crowes message board to get updates as the concert was happening. Quite honestly the set list on paper really doesn't impress me. The better show was the night before which I'm listening to as I type BTW. I can totally understand why the Crowes played it safe for MSG though. Such a big venue and probaly many casual fans there. I'm sure all the knuckleheads from the board will start a major bitchfest over it.
So it was much nicer having a few beers with friends instead. Kim was there telling me she just about has Rocky Horror Picture Show lined up for the Bayshore 8. Cripes, the possible cast was pretty much right there in the room. Hope she can pull it off. I was told I'm going to be Dr. Scott! I pretty much left when I saw Cindy was online. Doc wouldn't let me download MSN on his computer so I rushed home. Thankfully she was still on and we got to chat for awhile. She passed me this great show from 12/30 I'm listening to as well.
Cindy again has been a rock thru all this. I've never had anyone accept me warts and all like this. She's my angel and lifeline. The exciting news is her son may be getting an internship in Wilmington, DE for a year. That's only a little over 2 hours from me. She's already planning a visit if that's the case. 2 years later we may finally meet face to face. 2006 may be the year!
I have an action packed week coming up, first the band is going up to see The Queers play the North Star Bar in Philly Wednesday, then we're playing our own show for a friend of ours birthday Saturday up there in Philly as well. We played there before in the tiny kitchen of their rowhouse for Halloween '04, at least this time we'll be in the basement. Strange request for gaining entry though, you have to have a fake mustache drawn on with magic marker. A mustache party? never heard of such a thing. Well since I already have a real mustache and part of the entertainment, I expect not to get hassled.
Another new year and hopefully resolutions to be kept. The big 4-0 birthday falling on the 31st as well. Lots of possibilities with the band. Hopefully many more Crowes shows. And the cherry on top, the possible visit from Cindy. This might be my year after all.........
ever seen fraggle rock? Muppet show from the 80's. One charecter, Boober, is always anxious about death and low on confidence . . . but it works out in the end - it is a kids show after all.
last summer I went to a metal mustash party (like metal music) it was fun. I was a lot more metal than mustash though