I've been awake for about an hour so far, and I'm in considerably less pain than I probably deserve to be, considering the amount of alcohol I consumed, the hour until which I stayed up, and the fact that I actually ate 2/3 of a super-dense La Casita hamburger before going to bed.
Still, I know I'm better off than Bob, whom we will hereafter call Drunk Bob until he checks himself into a much-needed rehab program. I can picture the conversation that his roommates are having with him at this very moment:
"Bob, you were kind of out of control last night."
"Really? What did I do?"
"Well, first you put in Ministry and turned it up so loud that no one could hear each other talk, and you pretty much cleared out the living room."
"Oh, jeez, sorry about that."
"And when we say that no one could hear each other talk, that's not actually true. You were bellowing so loudly that we were getting phone calls from Vancouver telling us to shut you up. That's Vancouver, B.C., by the way."
"Shit, I don't even remember that. Sorry."
"Do you remember opening the bag full of Wolverine action figures that you got for a present and sticking them down your pants, telling Wolverine to fuck you in the ass?"
"Uh, no."
"How about when you threw them across the room and almost embedded them in someone's head?"
"Um..."
"You also spilled about a gallon and a half of Coke everywhere. And look at these pictures of your ass crack! We were getting complaints from the plumber's union about hiring scab workers until we explained that you were just a sloppy moron who can't hold his liquor."
If you see only one movie this year, don't miss Drunk Bob in: Dude, Where's My Dignity?
Still, I know I'm better off than Bob, whom we will hereafter call Drunk Bob until he checks himself into a much-needed rehab program. I can picture the conversation that his roommates are having with him at this very moment:
"Bob, you were kind of out of control last night."
"Really? What did I do?"
"Well, first you put in Ministry and turned it up so loud that no one could hear each other talk, and you pretty much cleared out the living room."
"Oh, jeez, sorry about that."
"And when we say that no one could hear each other talk, that's not actually true. You were bellowing so loudly that we were getting phone calls from Vancouver telling us to shut you up. That's Vancouver, B.C., by the way."
"Shit, I don't even remember that. Sorry."
"Do you remember opening the bag full of Wolverine action figures that you got for a present and sticking them down your pants, telling Wolverine to fuck you in the ass?"
"Uh, no."
"How about when you threw them across the room and almost embedded them in someone's head?"
"Um..."
"You also spilled about a gallon and a half of Coke everywhere. And look at these pictures of your ass crack! We were getting complaints from the plumber's union about hiring scab workers until we explained that you were just a sloppy moron who can't hold his liquor."
If you see only one movie this year, don't miss Drunk Bob in: Dude, Where's My Dignity?
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
miloryan:
Bob was pure entertainment! Nice first car by the way. My first car was an old 66 vw squareback, which looked really cool from about 50 yards away. the best part about it was the holes in the floor so you didn't have to open the windows to throw your beers out. So you gets to interview rock stars and shit? Lucky you.
anything:
Merry Christmas