king_of_skulls

I woke up this morning surprised at what I was feeling, and it scared and saddened me immensely. Its given that I miss my daughter (I havent seen her in a week now and its killing me), but I must say that I missed her mother for the first time in a very long time. I hate this, I really do. You shouldnt miss someone that has caused more pain in your life than any other event you have ever survived (trust me, I have been shot, wrecked motorcycles, and been in more bar fights than the pope has prayers, and they were all cakewalks compared to living thru the lies and deceit and affairs). I really dont bare my feelings that often, and god knows that I am not putting this up her for attention or pity, I just want to know why, thats all. I dont like putting my mind burdens on other people; I just cant imagine why my brain would even associate the feeling of longing with that "human being". Whats worse is even though there is no real excuse for having an affair behind someones back she has so many and they all make me feel like the whole thing was my fault and even though I know it wasnt, that she was just a selfish coward. FUCK I hate starting my day like this. So friends, say a small prayer for me so that god can interject and distract me with something shiny, just to get this brain snot outta my head. Thanks, you have my love, peace to you all.