The Ides of March
(...and April... possibly May)
Every year at this time my life becomes noticeably more chaotic. Spring Fever is often an excuse for it, but it's more than just that. While, admittedly my life is more chaotic than most, this time of year Chaos is like a toddler following me around with intense curiosity with something I am doing; turns it upside down then tootles off to fine something else to scrutinize.
All my great romances started this time of year, as all of my (until recently) career changes. In 2005 I moved countries in April then three years later got fired from the job I moved for... in April.
A good good friend introduced me to the theory of the Brain, the Heart and the Penis. How all three interact to get us (me) through a day. Applying that theory to this event annually goes something like this:
For most of the year Brain and Penis mind the store. They take care of business and make sure things get done. Largely this is successful, while Heart is off wandering around. Doing whatever it does when it's not around, sending the odd post card about sunsets or memories of ex-lovers. Until March happens then Heart returns, drunk. Brain and Penis sigh, and move the furniture out of the way. Heart rambles on about non-sensible things and demands Brain figure out how to make them make sense while promising Penis it will be a hell of a lot of fun when we get there. This year Heart insists that we are lonely, and we better damn well do something about it. Brain argues that everyone is lonely; we don't need a bad relationship to hide the fact, plus all the good choices are unavailable. Penis helpfully points out he has a couple of friendly hands that help him out and that half the population out there has the parts we're looking for so why worry? Then Heart points out the new lines in my face, the disturbing sounds my joints have started making, and the additional scars from the last year. Then Heart poignantly stares at the clock. All three fall in to a fitful silence.
(Then Chaos pops in again and knocks something over.)
Roll credits.
A picture of an otter.
(...and April... possibly May)
Every year at this time my life becomes noticeably more chaotic. Spring Fever is often an excuse for it, but it's more than just that. While, admittedly my life is more chaotic than most, this time of year Chaos is like a toddler following me around with intense curiosity with something I am doing; turns it upside down then tootles off to fine something else to scrutinize.
All my great romances started this time of year, as all of my (until recently) career changes. In 2005 I moved countries in April then three years later got fired from the job I moved for... in April.
A good good friend introduced me to the theory of the Brain, the Heart and the Penis. How all three interact to get us (me) through a day. Applying that theory to this event annually goes something like this:
For most of the year Brain and Penis mind the store. They take care of business and make sure things get done. Largely this is successful, while Heart is off wandering around. Doing whatever it does when it's not around, sending the odd post card about sunsets or memories of ex-lovers. Until March happens then Heart returns, drunk. Brain and Penis sigh, and move the furniture out of the way. Heart rambles on about non-sensible things and demands Brain figure out how to make them make sense while promising Penis it will be a hell of a lot of fun when we get there. This year Heart insists that we are lonely, and we better damn well do something about it. Brain argues that everyone is lonely; we don't need a bad relationship to hide the fact, plus all the good choices are unavailable. Penis helpfully points out he has a couple of friendly hands that help him out and that half the population out there has the parts we're looking for so why worry? Then Heart points out the new lines in my face, the disturbing sounds my joints have started making, and the additional scars from the last year. Then Heart poignantly stares at the clock. All three fall in to a fitful silence.
(Then Chaos pops in again and knocks something over.)
Roll credits.
A picture of an otter.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mydogfarted:
The penis is usually the trouble maker.
brightredscream:
The picture of the otter made everything dissolve out of my brain