king21b

so last night, i was a little drunk, talking to my ex........well not really talking, but cussin her out really. telling her that im done, and i dont want anything to do with her anymore.........thats the last i heard from her. then today her brother send me an email, saying he doesnt know if were talking or w/e but she is now in the hospital, and she is not doing well.......why would she do something like that. i dont fucking understand it. she threatened me with her life about a month ago........but damn.....what am i supposed to do, stay with her and be miserable just so she doesnt kill herself???? why do i feel like the bad guy??? why cant she move on like i have?? and this is really not the time i need to be dealing with this shit.. im about to go to rehab, b/c my counseler says i have an alcohol and drug dependency. i think she is full of shit. well maybe i do. w/e......i dont wanna go. and im about to deploy once again, but thats the least of my worries. my parents are not speaking to each other, thats been going on for a few months, my grandma just died, and my family is fighting each other and falling apart. is this like a fucking test or something??? it would help if i had someone i could talk to or be there.........but thats not the case. o well, right, w/e doesnt kill us makes us stronger. so i guess i can stop eating my wheaties