alrigh kids , im back with yet another adventure. i got stuck in AZ for 4 days. yes. it sucked. i was told i was going to the river over night. so i packed nothing but a bikini. me , thinking the " river" is some crap waterhole somewhere in cali. no. they failed to tell me its out of state. so we get there and i get so sun burned im blistered. we ran out of money and got stuck there. so for 4 days i slept in the tent on rocks. i didnt even have a fucking toothrbush. worst time of my life. FUCK THE RIVER. although i did meet a women with a 10 month old baboon. it was SO cute. it wore diapers and baby clothes. but then i stepped on glass and i can get it out. so im limping around until it pushes itself out. i hate this. im a sunburned gimp. 
If that lady with the monkey ever met the dude on Venice Beach with the boa constrictor, do you think they would kill each other on the spot by siccing their respective animals on each other or fall in love and start dry-humping & leaking all over the pavement?
I'm not mocking you. I promise.
Does foot-glass count as a body mod?