These blog topics, guys. I dig them. I dig writing more blogs.
And it's crazy. Because, when I found suicidegirls through live journal ten years ago, I couldn't have imagined how it would have impacted my life. I joined in 2004, based off a photo of Quinne from her collage set. I was too shy and confused to have a public profile until around five months later in September. This is in the time before myspace or facebook and the only real online communities I really had was livejournal and my best friends read everything I posted so I wanted an outlet all to myself. This was perfect.
I don't think I approached the idea of becoming a suicidegirl myself until late 2005. At this point I was working at the Disney Store (hahaaaa) and I just met my friends Nicki and Elizabeth and really had no idea that alongside SG, my life was really going to change. I really came out of my shell. I only had one tattoo (my stars on my back. Which was found on basically any young girl in 2003 that wore converse and black eyeliner. Believe me) and Elizabeth introduced me to Tim who has done pretty much all of my tattoo work. Inspired by the girls on SG, I started to realize tattoos could be pretty, and artwork on my skin instead of just mess and black lines.
I remember applying, with a picture of myself I took in my kitchen topless. I didn't really think I was ever going to make it.
... oh the high quality of 2005 digital cameras.
I was fortunate enough to get to shoot with Steve Prue and sg James- even though those sets were rejected.
Sometime in 2008 I contacted @alissa about shooting when I traveled out to Columbus to visit my best friend and attend one of the Havana events. My first Alissa set was one of the very first sets when they created Member Review. Eventually I went back out to Ohio and shot with Alissa again and that's the "catch of the day" set that was purchased after months of being in review!
I feel like I'm getting off track though.... I think the most important part, the part that @missy and @rambo assigned us... Is how SG changed my life.
I think that SG has made me more free. For the longest time I felt so constricted and scared. SG helped me make friends. It helped me feel like it was okay to express myself through makeup and ridiculous clothes without being scared of how people were going to react. SG has introduced me to girls around the world... once in 2007 Nicki and I met up with @sky and her future husband in NYC and that was one of the best nights of my life.
Coming to LA last summer and meeting up with @havana and realizing that I would have friends if I made the move across the country helped me. For years and years, I had been sitting around in Connecticut, scared of making a move that I've wanted forever. Now I know that I don't have to be frightened if I ever want to go somewhere new. I've done it once, it wasn't so bad.
And every once in awhile, when I feel like a terrible goober or if I think people must think I'm a total weirdo, I remember that I have this secret. That SG exists and I am a suicide girl... so I guess on some level, I actually am pretty cool. Even if I'm not a girl who is posted online every where (or any where, really, haha), I'm still one of this awesome group of girls. That allows me to get to go perv on ladies at shootfests, or grab a drink with a friend who I only get to see every once in awhile (even though its never in the same place). I'm just a month shy of a decade on here and I've seen ladies come and go. I've seen @quinne grow from baby faced, to dread headed and super sexy, to calm yoga girl who inspires me. I've seen @radeo appear, cut off her hair, get super tattooed, and slept in her apartment and had her make me breakfast. I've met girls from the UK, Chile, Italy, France and Canada. I've met my SG hero @cherry, and even @missy and @sean. This has been a cool experience, and I look forward to the future. And to reading everyone else's responses to this topic!
