JeffyTest Part I - True or False
1) Jeffy cannot swim. True.
Denleader said:
Ok, Jeff, we're just going to...hold still, dammit. Ok, we're just going to take you out on that big wooden platform floating in the middle of Lake Melissa there. Now if you want to swim, you can come on back and join the rest of the troop for Webelo dinner...
That dinner must have tasted good. We'll never know. Jeffy was left on that raft overnight. But Jeffy made friends with Mother Natura and the metaphorical Eco-Sisters.
2) Jeffy owns approx. 4000 shot glasses. True.
Wow, Peepaw,
Peepaw= 10 year old JeffySpeak for Grandfather (d. 2001)
There's so many of 'em. Is it true you got a lot of these in germany fighting Nazzees?
3) Peepaw faught Nazzees in Germany. False.
Most are German, but postwar.
4) Jeffy hates the political scene and all the "bile" associated with it. False.
Jeffy loves "bile"
5) Jeffy misses being an improvisational comedian. TRUE, dammit!
jeffypop used to say:
Welcome to ComedySportz!
Part II - Analogy Section
Jeffy is to Star Wars as Ninjas are to Stabby McKillKill.
Jeffy's knees are to functionality as Larry the Cable Guy is to talented.
The Doctor said:
We'll have to open both up and drain the fluid, but you are only four, so you won't remember any of this.
Jeffy is to loyal relationships as Hydrogen is the the Universe.
Part III - Essay
Random factoids-
Jeffy had his first cigarette, hit of LSD, and sex on the same night.
Jeffy can spin a pun like a dradle. (top that! )
He can recite entire George Carlin albums from memory.
He chooses J.Garofalo over U.Thurman when it comes to the sexy.
He is hypoglycemic.
He smokes way too much.
He loves all the green things that grow in the world.
He is the
World's.
worst.
vegan.
He has a family with a history of aquiring Lupus and has nightmares about dying from it.
He is large.
He contains multitudes.
He wants the current Administration cloned x 1000 so that every year, on Earth Day, a clone can be sacrificed in The Wicker Man. (see "The Millennium of Just & Public Revenge 2006-3006")
He Wants Christopher Lee cloned x 1000 to oversee said sacrifice.
He wants love.
He wants to be hated.
He wants everyone he cares about to get everything.
He wants this journal entry to end.
He realizes this journal entry will never end.
He kicks Major ass....and General Ass too.
He is a coward with women, though.
He wishes women skip over that last comment.
He is awesome, and you know it.
He is tired of referring to himself in the 3rd person.
So I will stop. 
-Dana