kickinglovers

What a mass destructive relationship. It was said "dear, I am positively terrified of the car crash which is infact ourselves". (In an astute definition of the possible wonderful of course). The afluent prescise knowhow of what we are slowly evolving into is dawning on us like a hurricane breaking it's first shards of green bottled glass. The splinters cut and sting, small slips of blood race in slow motion to find, we still beat and live quite wholesome infact.
Wicked deviant thoughts which lurk in my mind's shadows still hinder me, it is known that they most likely always hinder me. Until this crush is squashed and distance is but a mere walk through streets. Which, it may be. may. possibly, hopefully, maybe. sigh, oh sigh at the line of swoon. And our gimmick nature. Such children at heart, so suited to playing in paddling pools and discussing what we shall cook for dinner in our minature house.. (I hope she buys me that little house for my birthday, how wonderful would that be). I am all a smile, bar my sickness.
I am quite caught in this moment, trapped but so willing to be, hooked by a line (of swoon), involved in something quite extraordinary. How, it terrifies me, right. to. my.core.
I just don't know what to do with myself.

So I sit, scratching the messages on love hearts off so their faces are clean and new for me to write. snippets of thought onto for this one.

(sickening)

For the first time in a while I have caught a throat virus and it leaves me utterly drained. I have left work early for the last two days to come home and sleep. Today however I have to return later for another 5 hours and then I start again at eight. The weekend is off. How, wonderful.



We could have been in London this weekend, I think we shall not of course. There may be other plans. These bombs scare me.