kickinglovers

But how, oh how it could be so frightening when you thought it was going to be the most wonderful place in the world, with its shadows twice the size of those at home, when you woke up in the menacing silence of the giant dormitory with its steal beds in military formation and the dean of discipline moving like a ghost among them, hungry for a misdemeanour, many thousands of miles away now the warm glow of the embers in the kitchen fire, the freckles on the wrinkled hand of Mammy to whom you felt like crying out, 'Please come to me! I cannot stand it here without you!' And without the smell of soda bread, the slow tick of the clock that marked each passing peaceful day and the heavy sighs from the chimney corner that let you know she was always there. But now she was not. Now there was nothing but the smell of older flesh, the flap of the wind as you walked alone through the vast oppressive grounds with their harsh, enclosing granite walls and vgilant, looming towers, the strange, inpenetrable tongues of the half-boy, half-man students who circle you and triumphantly handed you an ominous warning - 'Make no mistake, the first five years are the worst!'.
Oh how you cried those first few months, even for you the intricate codes of Greek and Latin, the brutal symbols of trigonomtery and calculus uncompromising in their obstinacy as nightly in the big study you struggled to best them, at times their icy logic too much for you who wanted only to be there with her and to hear that voice again, comforting you in your ear as outside the huge night settled over the fields.



He told me I shouldn't expect to be able to cope with such money misfortunes. Up in hundreds I shouldn't be expected to deal with. It comforted me.


Contained in familiarity my head runs a riot with fear.
Two days and I'm leaving my head for a week.
Absent minded, terror can't attack so valiantly.



Cuz when I look at you I squint;
you are that beautiful.


-Ryan ... so much more suited to that name.
Oh gender confusion..
Pfft. Not me..(not just now anyhow).



fuck being cool.. it isnt where i'm at. we know this.. and it suits me just fine.
i'm a pirate mental patient on mushrooms, that'll do me.