kickinglovers

I'm so fucking sick of worrying about all of these things. Money. How did I get into such bad debt. Why can't I seem to ever dig myself out. I'm considering whoring myself, trouble is there are no known suckers in this town who would pay for my body. Probably a good thing. My sexual insecurities wouldn't go down (pun not intended) so well. The bank wants my ass. Do you know how stressful that is.. Jesus and the credit card people. Over my limits substantially and unable to pay because I insist on having a life. WOrk have fucked up my hours, I'm put down to work next Sunday and Louise fucking knows I can't. I am not missing fucking Ani Difranco for that shit fucking job.
I just had a lecture from my mother about getting black listed and it would be in this houses name. Yup. I most probably am, I can't cope with feeling so shitty all the time. I jus need one hand. One hand to push me up. I did and I fucked that up. Using the money for various things rather than sorting my shit out.
This is really getting me down. It has for the last 8 months. I jus want it to stop. Predominently my reason for not killing myself so far is the shame of leaving my parents with my debt. That is wrong I'm sure.
It makes my stomach bad, then I get a temp, I throw up, my head hurts. Jus because of worrying. Fucking life.

Maybe my situation isn't that bad, but I'm not apologising for my rant.