I wish I could stop looking, I know it will only turn me into knots. You know it. I am jealous as all hell. I am trying to settle. But it just won't happen. It shouldve been my place.. It will never be my place. Oh happy with love.. I regret to inform you my heart is a vast broken shell of china sitting in...
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With everything breeds confusion. A mounting debt of despair blocks any path to salvation; where hope lies in wait under piles of coats thrown in from the party. I stood in the doorway of my life and watching the fairground attractions spinning past my face, I shouldn't look back, nor regret these things but I harbour sufferage like back pain.
A last resort, the morning...
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A last resort, the morning...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
loretta:
I am. You need not to worry. 
Kisses
Kisses
waldo_jeffers:
My weekend was fine and dandy thank you!
College sounds like a great idea! What are you planning on studying?
What medication are you on?
Would that have been the Queen's Shilling? (just guessing that one as it is the most obvious choice, although there are plenty of others to choose from). I remember the time when I was out on a works night and one of my work colleagues, who happened to be gay, was attempting to persuade everyone to go on a gay pub crawl. No one seemed to be very interested and he seemed a bit disappointed, so I thought I'd go along with him. He then proceeded to drag me on the quickest pub crawl I've been on. Everytime we went in a pub, I got a drink, start to imbibe it only to have my gay mate declare that "Oh, its dead in here, let's go somewhere else". I am not sure if maybe he was hoping to bump into someone in particular but he just wouldn't stay anywhere for long and I began to find it rather annoying that I couldn't just sit down and have my drink. I ended up attempting to smuggle about three bottles of beer in and out of various pubs. Also, mildly irritating was the fact that as we went into each gay pub, my mate insisted on introducing me to people as "Mark who was a bit nervous about coming to a gay pub but don't you worry Mark you are safe with me". The thing is, I hadn't been in the slightest bit nervous (having gone through a bisexual phase in my teens) and it was really embarrassing to have all those people thinking I was some kind of ignorant homophobe but since my gay mate was drunk and feeling overprotective it just couldn't be helped!
College sounds like a great idea! What are you planning on studying?
What medication are you on?
Would that have been the Queen's Shilling? (just guessing that one as it is the most obvious choice, although there are plenty of others to choose from). I remember the time when I was out on a works night and one of my work colleagues, who happened to be gay, was attempting to persuade everyone to go on a gay pub crawl. No one seemed to be very interested and he seemed a bit disappointed, so I thought I'd go along with him. He then proceeded to drag me on the quickest pub crawl I've been on. Everytime we went in a pub, I got a drink, start to imbibe it only to have my gay mate declare that "Oh, its dead in here, let's go somewhere else". I am not sure if maybe he was hoping to bump into someone in particular but he just wouldn't stay anywhere for long and I began to find it rather annoying that I couldn't just sit down and have my drink. I ended up attempting to smuggle about three bottles of beer in and out of various pubs. Also, mildly irritating was the fact that as we went into each gay pub, my mate insisted on introducing me to people as "Mark who was a bit nervous about coming to a gay pub but don't you worry Mark you are safe with me". The thing is, I hadn't been in the slightest bit nervous (having gone through a bisexual phase in my teens) and it was really embarrassing to have all those people thinking I was some kind of ignorant homophobe but since my gay mate was drunk and feeling overprotective it just couldn't be helped!
My plane didn't crash, the accusations swiftly shot me in the heart, why would they check my bags twice over... then leave me lying on the plane wing, bleeding drop by drop onto the people who look like ants. I didn't get a call of congratulations, I only socked an air hostess in the mouth because it was a reflex action when she tried helping...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
nya:
I declare one day i'll split milk everywhere on purpose
my week was ok, like could be a week at strange parent's home in a tiny desert town
and how are you?
my week was ok, like could be a week at strange parent's home in a tiny desert town
and how are you?
rowan:
Thank you for the love, beautiful Red. I am here and okay. Things have just been crazy. My parents are seperated (out of nowhere) and I just kinda feel lost. I'll be okay, though.
How have you been?
♥
xoxo
~JAx
How have you been?
♥
xoxo
~JAx
""""stomach pains of now or never cramp against the tide.
well my heart knows me better than i know myself
so i'm gonna let it do all the talking.
i came across a place in the middle of nowhere
with a big black horse and a cherry tree.
i fell in fear, upon my back
i said don't look back, just keep on walking.
when...
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well my heart knows me better than i know myself
so i'm gonna let it do all the talking.
i came across a place in the middle of nowhere
with a big black horse and a cherry tree.
i fell in fear, upon my back
i said don't look back, just keep on walking.
when...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sorrowsjoy:
*HUGS* Obviously you are hurting--About what specifically I don't know but whatever it is I pray it gets better --Love ya sweetie and if ya need to vent you know where to find me...
Lexi
FractalTelepathy@aol.com
--Love ya sweetie and if ya need to vent you know where to find me...
Lexi
FractalTelepathy@aol.com
rowan:
Missed you, Red. Hello pretty speaksroundly girl. ♥
xoxo
~Ro
xoxo
~Ro
Travelling to defy laws and adapt to concepts designed for the greater man. Eyes taken, words stolen - meaningful warning signs ahead. Here we go; like some fudged drawing of a landslide in the road. President set by the tone of the music... and the beat box booms. Miles of unfamiliar roads leading me to ? I don't know where, I didn't design the map,...
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VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
poppystrike:
Doesn't matter. Make sure the familiar looks after you, like I didn't 
.
.
poppystrike:
AIM. I don't want to have this conversation in my journal.
I drank absinthe to ignore the dislike vibes being sent my way. There were only harsh words spoken in respect to my wanting to talk to a girl whom came onto me many months before - HER pride was hurt clare said. 
I lost three hours of my life last night.. spent in a haze of irish unfit bodies.
I saw two forty year old...
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I lost three hours of my life last night.. spent in a haze of irish unfit bodies.
I saw two forty year old...
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VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
retsin:
two men doing what now? 
wix:
egad...i really wish i could figure out what im going to do with my hair. i have half the urge to cut my hair back to its original pixie cut ways, but i want something different then what i had for 2 years running. looking like winona ryders duplicate is not my intention.
*le sigh*
*le sigh*
standing like john wayne
she is full framed
she is center stage
and my imagination is
rattling in its cage
I didn't really notice
when everything else disappeared
but as far as I'm concerned
if it isn't her
it isn't here
she says do I know you
I say well, no, not biblically
but I've been waiting for you come
and talk to me
I...
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she is full framed
she is center stage
and my imagination is
rattling in its cage
I didn't really notice
when everything else disappeared
but as far as I'm concerned
if it isn't her
it isn't here
she says do I know you
I say well, no, not biblically
but I've been waiting for you come
and talk to me
I...
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VIEW 25 of 32 COMMENTS
sorrowsjoy:
*hugs* Love you sweetheart--What a beautiful person you are even though I know your self image may not agree with on that- It's what I see and believe with no doubts --You deserve the best so keep your chin up even when gravity wants to pull it down--Your special and there's not anyone just like you anywhere on this entire planet--So take care darling and don't let anyone push you around 
Lexi
--You deserve the best so keep your chin up even when gravity wants to pull it down--Your special and there's not anyone just like you anywhere on this entire planet--So take care darling and don't let anyone push you around
Lexi
xk3zofrenik:
you slightly drunk, me fully insomniac. My eyes are so wide open it hurts.
My right hand is colder than my left hand. My right face is sadder than the one before. The night time is harder than the day time because of the explored. Directively lost in the space of minutes before time. Away from home sensing a bitterness in between, I miss the familiar; for all that it means. They've been dishing out the lies like subtle...
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VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
thelastbeliever:
Yup definately
How are things with you?
How are things with you?
andy_hallam:
I got the call, I am going OUT.
I have half an hour to get ready.
Hmmm, what to wear.
And more drinkies.
Believe me if I post pics of exes, one you will want to laugh, one you might say "Awwwww" th remaining I think will be an "Eh?"
I have half an hour to get ready.
Hmmm, what to wear.
And more drinkies.
Believe me if I post pics of exes, one you will want to laugh, one you might say "Awwwww" th remaining I think will be an "Eh?"
I am to wear polar bear pajamas on this night. My life is in a suitcase. Go to bed with a pretend smile on my face.
I turn my back because I don't like to be watched when sleeping.
I dream of most things. So vivid I wake confused.
These people carry knives, forks and most other kitchen utensils... you'd be suprised. You know.. those...
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I turn my back because I don't like to be watched when sleeping.
I dream of most things. So vivid I wake confused.
These people carry knives, forks and most other kitchen utensils... you'd be suprised. You know.. those...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
nya:
ahah, yes I am
english, great! I wish I was smart enough to study literature things. I love your writing by the way! I really like to read yours and Alwaysbeingblue journals because they make me feel like I was somewhere else.
english, great! I wish I was smart enough to study literature things. I love your writing by the way! I really like to read yours and Alwaysbeingblue journals because they make me feel like I was somewhere else.
retsin:
i think if i saw ani at this point...i might cry...
I cannot hold my attention for longer than a few moments on anything. I bubble with excitement and then run on empty fuel, twisting into an awful mood. I want answers to questions I don't even know. I want to know why friends are such wankers, whether it is my own doing that they have turned into people I cannot recognise nor stand to spend...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
thelastbeliever:
Well i'm trying to put a brave face on things. I think i am failing. This site is an escape for me. Somewhere i can go and forget about all the shit around me. I know that sounds a little pathetic, but we all need somewhere to go to get away from everything...
I am doing okay at the moment though. It's up and down but i imagine things will start to improve with time.
I hope all is as well as can be with you. Sorry for the bland comments...
I am doing okay at the moment though. It's up and down but i imagine things will start to improve with time.
I hope all is as well as can be with you. Sorry for the bland comments...
thelastbeliever:
Thank you. It really does mean a lot to me to have people to talk to. I know we don't know each other that well, but i do feel as though i could talk to you, and i have on occasion about personal stuff.
I really don't like to make a fuss though, you know me...
Thank you again for the concern though. You are very special
I really don't like to make a fuss though, you know me...
Thank you again for the concern though. You are very special
But how, oh how it could be so frightening when you thought it was going to be the most wonderful place in the world, with its shadows twice the size of those at home, when you woke up in the menacing silence of the giant dormitory with its steal beds in military formation and the dean of discipline moving like a ghost among them, hungry...
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VIEW 25 of 28 COMMENTS
d_no:
Is being cool still cool these days? 
I'm not sure.
It's not a brilliant line up, it rarely is, but there are enough decent acts on to keep me entertained. If I get to see 4 or 5 bands a day on the big stages that's plenty. There is a lot more to do than just watch bands you know, that's what makes Glastonbury so special.
You're a pirate mental patient on mushrooms, hmm.....
and a lady too
[Edited on Apr 12, 2005 5:01PM]
I'm not sure.
It's not a brilliant line up, it rarely is, but there are enough decent acts on to keep me entertained. If I get to see 4 or 5 bands a day on the big stages that's plenty. There is a lot more to do than just watch bands you know, that's what makes Glastonbury so special.
You're a pirate mental patient on mushrooms, hmm.....
and a lady too
[Edited on Apr 12, 2005 5:01PM]
loretta:
*Huuuuuuug!!*
Familiarity has bred redemption at a time when suffering makes his money by playing cards. Dealing hands to unworthy opponents just to take their hard earned self worth.. Money money money. Bloody blasphamony was his ownly fault, those lies stood up like rabbits in the headlight at night. Torn cages of presumption were the only way to the highway of deliverance (save us from all...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
sorrowsjoy:
*hugs* I hope things are a little more bearable now--And as always your writing is amazing sweetie I know life can throw some cruel curveballs at ya 
but the trick is to learn how to get back up--Something I'm still learning myself--Anyways as I have said before my door is always open if ya need someone to talk to --Take care and love ya hun!
Lexi
I know life can throw some cruel curveballs at ya but the trick is to learn how to get back up--Something I'm still learning myself--Anyways as I have said before my door is always open if ya need someone to talk to --Take care and love ya hun!
Lexi
bambi:
yes, there has been someone...and after 2,5 years I told him to leave cause it didn't work out with us - I learned somtimes love is not enough...
But in 2 years we will be old enough to handle the rest and get married
well at least I hope it's like this !
But in 2 years we will be old enough to handle the rest and get married
well at least I hope it's like this !
and it doesn't hurt to be an SG (I can only judge the limbo girl part for the moment but I don't think it will get worst an I'll be a real one), you should try, definetly!
and I'm sure you're photogenic enough