i love working on my house. not much feels better than to accomplish a big project and then get to look at it every night before going to bed...
but working on my house alone leaves me a lot of time to think on my own. usually this isn't a problem, but with the recent breakup...it's painful.
somehow i still haven't freaked out about my breakup with matt. i guess it's because there's still a little bit of potential to someday get back together. i mean, if we lived in the same city, i think we would have had a better chance of making it together. but 3 years long distance...
anyway...we didn't work because we're far apart, and maybe we'll be in the same place at the same time, and maybe matt will find time for me...he's still figuring this all out. so...all hope is not lost.
but besides that, i have chosen not to think too hard about such things. actually having to verbalize everything i feel that i've lost...
i'm not in a place yet to acknowledge and act upon everything that i *have* gained...we'll get there eventually. i guess i just keep hoping i'll have someone whose lap i can crawl into and bawl for awhile and flush it all out. but matt was always that person before.
so now i just sorta suck it up and eventually it'll either come out or i'll find a way to turn the energy into productiveness (which i'm trying hard to do).
anyway. i'm lonely...and sad. but the bedroom is going to be beautiful. too bad i have no one to share it with.
it's 2am and i'm sleeping on the couch while the paint dries. the bedroom will (eventually) get done.
i just realized i have no testimonials. come on people! say something (anything!) about me!
but working on my house alone leaves me a lot of time to think on my own. usually this isn't a problem, but with the recent breakup...it's painful.
somehow i still haven't freaked out about my breakup with matt. i guess it's because there's still a little bit of potential to someday get back together. i mean, if we lived in the same city, i think we would have had a better chance of making it together. but 3 years long distance...
anyway...we didn't work because we're far apart, and maybe we'll be in the same place at the same time, and maybe matt will find time for me...he's still figuring this all out. so...all hope is not lost.
but besides that, i have chosen not to think too hard about such things. actually having to verbalize everything i feel that i've lost...
i'm not in a place yet to acknowledge and act upon everything that i *have* gained...we'll get there eventually. i guess i just keep hoping i'll have someone whose lap i can crawl into and bawl for awhile and flush it all out. but matt was always that person before.
so now i just sorta suck it up and eventually it'll either come out or i'll find a way to turn the energy into productiveness (which i'm trying hard to do).
anyway. i'm lonely...and sad. but the bedroom is going to be beautiful. too bad i have no one to share it with.
it's 2am and i'm sleeping on the couch while the paint dries. the bedroom will (eventually) get done.
i just realized i have no testimonials. come on people! say something (anything!) about me!
novalues:
I would imagine that long distance relasionships would be hard. Its like yeah you could talk to them allot but you couldnt hold them.