Good News Everybody!
We are now taking applications for the position of Little Spoon!
Are you looking for six feet one inches of man to hold you snugly at night, during movie time or for lazy day naps? Then apply here. Work condition include; sleeping chamber kept at a brisk 68°F, California King Raised Bed adorned with satin sheets and micro fiber blankets, more pillows than anyone needs, a stuffed Sloth named BoBo, tower fan for air circulation and crushed Red Velvet blackout curtains because the sun be thine enemy. Other services offered; back/booty rubs, YouTube videos of funny pets, checking out that suspicious noise that you heard but I didn't, getting you a glass of water without complaining, playing with hair/ear lobes/boobs, and more. Employer is not responsible for awkward spooning boners. All clothing optional, restroom located within master bedroom so no additional clothing required. If you would like to be apart of Big Spoon/Little Spoon inc. please leave resume in comments. Ear plugs, eye mask, ambien available upon request.
Disclaimer: Sometimes I may snore when overly tired, also when on ambien I may try to explain to you why the robots don't appreciate the religious iconography of American holidays effect on a completely capitalistic market.
Hope to hear from you spoon!
(See what I did there?)
-Kevin Kash
