Well it's done. We're broken up. It was relatively painless. No crying, no trying to change my mind, she just accepted it. A little too well for what I had hoped, but it just goes to show how much we didn't really love each other. There were some question and alot of akward silences, but things are good. We're going to try the being friends thing but I don't find it working out too well. Especially if she keep saying that she loves me like she said she might... I really hope she doesn't. That would not help at all. But whatever... I'm just glad the relationship ended well. Better than staying in a relationship that was bound for failure.
... And there it is... the hardness. The "Me big man. Me no feel pain." macho crap... I hate it but there it is. At least I can admit to it and know that it's stupid.
The hardness. She did it better tho. Laughing and telling me stories about how her and her friends were having fun earlier that day.
She tried to use her sexuality against me...
She tried to play on my sympathy...
She called me honey (possibly by reaction but i don't know)...
And she still said, "I love you."
This is why I'm happy that it's over. That and I realized that I've been using her to up my self esteem. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to make everyone hate me, but I was a bad person because of it. Let's just leave it at that. It was just an all around unhealthy relationship.
This is a mistake that I'll learn much from. And hopefully I'll grow because of it and not make any of the same mistakes again.
This is how our last few lines of conversation went...
"Brian..."
"... Yeah?"(the hesitation because I know what's coming)
"I love you."
"...... I'll talk to you later."
I'm going to have to be a hardass about this. She's not leaving me too many choices.
A conversation with my mom helped out alot. Might sound lame or whatever, but she's the most knowledgable neutral people that I know. There's not too many people whose advise I value more.
Well anyway, that's all I got right now. TTFN.
... And there it is... the hardness. The "Me big man. Me no feel pain." macho crap... I hate it but there it is. At least I can admit to it and know that it's stupid.
The hardness. She did it better tho. Laughing and telling me stories about how her and her friends were having fun earlier that day.
She tried to use her sexuality against me...
She tried to play on my sympathy...
She called me honey (possibly by reaction but i don't know)...
And she still said, "I love you."
This is why I'm happy that it's over. That and I realized that I've been using her to up my self esteem. I'm not going to go into detail because I don't want to make everyone hate me, but I was a bad person because of it. Let's just leave it at that. It was just an all around unhealthy relationship.
This is a mistake that I'll learn much from. And hopefully I'll grow because of it and not make any of the same mistakes again.
This is how our last few lines of conversation went...
"Brian..."
"... Yeah?"(the hesitation because I know what's coming)
"I love you."
"...... I'll talk to you later."
I'm going to have to be a hardass about this. She's not leaving me too many choices.
A conversation with my mom helped out alot. Might sound lame or whatever, but she's the most knowledgable neutral people that I know. There's not too many people whose advise I value more.
Well anyway, that's all I got right now. TTFN.
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Just treat yourself well for a while, try to do things that make you happy.