keriae

I've never been so confused and hopeful in my entire life.

I am constantly worrying where I'm going to end up next.

Our lease is up in a month, we're going to get a house.

But last night, he said something that made me think he doesn't really want me to move with him.

It made me worry, because I don't have anywhere else to go. I can't go back to my parents. And I don't want to end up sleeping on couches again.

At the same time, I know that this is where I'm supposed to be. Living with him is the only place that's ever really felt like a home. I don't want to lose that.

But then I have to look at it this way - I'm only 18. My entire life is just beginning. I graduate in a month. I have an amazing career set in front of me and I've been given a lot of really great opportunites. And he's not always going to be around. I need to find independence and support myself. He leaves in one year..when he leaves I'll -have- to take care of myself. I might as well learn how to now instead of waiting til later.

My life is going to be great. But I'm the only one that can make it that way.