kera

some days i feel like everything i knew about myself is wrong. that i'm slipping away from myself again. the person who wrote every day despite work and school, the one who didn't care that her skirts were too short, or that it was bad to smoke. the one who did what she wanted because she chose to, because she was free to, and knew that consequences were a myth: that you make your own path and every option is open to you when you're free.
i want her back. i want to feel again. i'm tired of fighting to be something i can't really ever be, no matter how good i am at pretending.
i want to risk everything every day, to succeed so easily. i see all these beautiful brilliant women living the lives they want, and i wonder how they got there and if i will ever be there.

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and in better news:
"you know how many votes george w. bush actually got in the first election? seven!"