the prop sale at the theater was tiny cuz we got there before most of the stuff was out. i did get a bucketfull of clip lights and reflector lights - just enough stuff to set up a little home photography studio in this little nook in my study. 
i suck at the mechanics of photography, but i like my eye. and i'm into taking portraits of women.
this is my last weekend before officially moving. i've been living in 2 places all month, trying to not expose myself to the paint fumes at the new apartment too much. it's airing out nicely, now. i'm kind of like a goldfish in that i have to soak in the bowl in the bag i came in for a while, before i can be dumped out into my new environment.
all this really just to say, i'm so freaked out about officially moving back in with my l-l-l-long term boyfriend that i can barely move. i mean, i can barely move anyway, but that's a different story. there's so much static between us, but i do love him. he wants me to live, and i love life so much it hurts. i've been getting sicker again. i hate being so dependant, especially on people who have a history of instability. i hate feeling like i have to suck it up and be "the good girlfriend." i don't want to end up in a nursing home. i don't want to live in fear or resentment of others' freedom anymore. I JUST WANT TO WALK MORE THAN THE TWENTY STEPS FROM THE HOUSE TO THE CAR. IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN I'M STARTING TO LOSE MY GIRLISH FIGURE AND IT'S FREAKING ME THE FUCK. OUT.
/rant
i suck at the mechanics of photography, but i like my eye. and i'm into taking portraits of women.
this is my last weekend before officially moving. i've been living in 2 places all month, trying to not expose myself to the paint fumes at the new apartment too much. it's airing out nicely, now. i'm kind of like a goldfish in that i have to soak in the bowl in the bag i came in for a while, before i can be dumped out into my new environment.
all this really just to say, i'm so freaked out about officially moving back in with my l-l-l-long term boyfriend that i can barely move. i mean, i can barely move anyway, but that's a different story. there's so much static between us, but i do love him. he wants me to live, and i love life so much it hurts. i've been getting sicker again. i hate being so dependant, especially on people who have a history of instability. i hate feeling like i have to suck it up and be "the good girlfriend." i don't want to end up in a nursing home. i don't want to live in fear or resentment of others' freedom anymore. I JUST WANT TO WALK MORE THAN THE TWENTY STEPS FROM THE HOUSE TO THE CAR. IF FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN I'M STARTING TO LOSE MY GIRLISH FIGURE AND IT'S FREAKING ME THE FUCK. OUT.
/rant
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all of that, so i can say to you dear girl: It's ALL cool, my babies.