Wednesday Dec 28, 2005

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oh man. my grandmother just fell (again).

she's okay, just a little blood from where she scraped her shoulder on the corner of her nightstand.

and from the reindeer hoofprints, but that happened a few nights ago (!).

no, seriously. so when it happens, i whip on a jean jacket over my jammmies, step into some combat boots, and tromp next door - luckily the son of some other oldfolks was still visiting for xmas - and explain that i have a bad heart, could he come pick my grandmother up off the floor?

so this guy my dad's age materializes in my grandmother's bedroom and i'm standing there explaining in forced jubilant tones look at this "strong young gentleman" that i found! trying to speak her language, you know? because she's still stuck in the past, calls the fridge the icebox and all that. he heaves her up and she's good.

now she's out in the kitchen with the tv on. she never watches tv except when she's extremely nervous, which is probably why she doesn't do modern-speak so well. isolation/ timewarp.

meanwhile, i just looked at maxi's new set in an attempt to calm my nerves, and beautiful though it was, all the shadows seemed sort of ominous, so i guess i'm a little freaked out too! i'll have to check it out again when i'm not so shook up.

it's weird - i initially moved in here for "a few months," as an interim place to crash. now, as i survey my family and their roles in caretaking my grandma, i realize that this is my job, to be around when the nurses aren't. as in: she's probably leaving this house before i do, it you catch my meaning.

don't get me wrong - i'm alright with being here. if not, i would work something else out, so don't cry for me argentina.

it's just an odd realization. one of those funnny twists life takes that you couldn't have predicted.

unlike several other girls on this site, i still can't bring myself to decorate the walls of my room.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
wheezy_e:
I spent a ton of time with my great grandma during the last 5 years of her life (we moved her out here to Boulder City). She had time warp vocabulary, but probably much more so - she kind of reverted to living in memories from sometime before WWII. She'd always ask me "so Robbie (she thought I was my dad) when are you going to take me with you on that machine?" machine meaning motorcycle. I'd usually say "Oh, you mean my flying machine? Wilber and Orville almost have it ready!" She never figured out she wasn't in Michigan anymore-When we'd take her in the car somewhere, she'd look at the desert and say "who put all those rocks there? It looks awful." If you could keep her focused she would tell you wonderful stories about things that happened sixty or more years prior, but nothing whatsoever about yesterday. Lucia Dardano, Mama Lou to me.


Blyss makes me dizzy she's so fucking hot. Do you think there's a tactful way for me to explain that she could do so much better than him? him meaning the chopper of course. I wish I could hook her up with a quality British fellow.
chuba:
The same thing happened to me. I took care of my Grandfather when he was alive, and his wife. Now I take care of her. She's not my blood, but she was married to him for forty-four years. She loves me like the son she never had, who was never my father. Being on this tour is the first time I've been off the west coast since she stopped walking. Now every time she's sick I feel guilty. Helping yer familia is more than duty or obligation. You don't realize what it does to and for you until you done it. Personally, I feel more alive after helping her. More like I see what I have.

You are pretty good person there Kenyon.

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