Wow.
Trying to start a business. Spent all week talking to banks, getting sincere explanations for why they don't fund startups. I am very conservative financially (well aside from being a rabidly pro-choice atheist, I'm pretty conservative all around) and it's a very strange feeling for me *not* to be the most risk-averse person in the room. Learn something new every day.
So I schedule a meeting with my successful friends and put together a presentation. Can I have your money? You won't get it back if I screw this up.
When I get home there is a voicemail waiting for me. All parties were very impressed with my organization, my preparation, my concept, my assessment. They're in. Damn. Getting a little verklempt here. Sure, this is masquerading as an investment decision, but I can still feel the love.
Preparation? All I had was an outline and some samples. Three months of research tucked into my brain, barfed up in a two-hour presentation and Q&A. An outline with no supporting text, at least on paper. But the numbers were there and I was there to defend them. And there is sooo much left to do.
I had to blow off going to a rave with my good buddy. Techno all night, or until my knees gave out at 4:00 a.m., some vodka, a warm sleeping bag, and cantaloupe for breakfast. And fire dancing everywhere. I had my wicks and fuel packed and realized I just couldn't do it. I had a "meeting of investors" scheduled for Sunday and if I raved Saturday I would show up totally unprepared. One more excruciating sacrifice of the now to invest in my, and my kid's, futures. I am at the point now where I could stand slinging hash for a year, living in a tiny apartment, and living life full tilt every weekend. I truly wonder if I'll manage to introduce that into my life before I retire. It's a goal. A roof for my kids is a more important goal. Small steps.
So I punted on the rave and opted for a two-hour cuddle with my former fling. She has a boyfriend now, so I had to respect limits, but even semi-vertical and clothes on, damn that felt good. Yes, I *can* feel the love. There is something special about ending a relationship before you start fighting and break up. Ever after, there is always this flirty "yeah and you know there's more where that came from" relationship.
Then an hour on the business plan, eight hours of sleep, four more hours on the BP, and off to my meeting. I guess it paid off.
Bought Tom Petty tickets for me and a buddy. I thought about asking a girl, but I can't see splitting my attention like that. Going with a person I know I'll never sleep with, I can concentrate on the show. Besides, he can cover his own ticket. I used to be a highly paid professional. I have sunk so low that I cringe at dropping $37.50 on TOM FREAKING PETTY. But I bit the bullet. I've worshipped this guy since 1980. And I swear on my Father's grave that if Tom cleaned up, his post-rehab album would rock like Damn The Torpedoes. He'd be cooler than Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler put together.
Trying to start a business. Spent all week talking to banks, getting sincere explanations for why they don't fund startups. I am very conservative financially (well aside from being a rabidly pro-choice atheist, I'm pretty conservative all around) and it's a very strange feeling for me *not* to be the most risk-averse person in the room. Learn something new every day.
So I schedule a meeting with my successful friends and put together a presentation. Can I have your money? You won't get it back if I screw this up.
When I get home there is a voicemail waiting for me. All parties were very impressed with my organization, my preparation, my concept, my assessment. They're in. Damn. Getting a little verklempt here. Sure, this is masquerading as an investment decision, but I can still feel the love.
Preparation? All I had was an outline and some samples. Three months of research tucked into my brain, barfed up in a two-hour presentation and Q&A. An outline with no supporting text, at least on paper. But the numbers were there and I was there to defend them. And there is sooo much left to do.
I had to blow off going to a rave with my good buddy. Techno all night, or until my knees gave out at 4:00 a.m., some vodka, a warm sleeping bag, and cantaloupe for breakfast. And fire dancing everywhere. I had my wicks and fuel packed and realized I just couldn't do it. I had a "meeting of investors" scheduled for Sunday and if I raved Saturday I would show up totally unprepared. One more excruciating sacrifice of the now to invest in my, and my kid's, futures. I am at the point now where I could stand slinging hash for a year, living in a tiny apartment, and living life full tilt every weekend. I truly wonder if I'll manage to introduce that into my life before I retire. It's a goal. A roof for my kids is a more important goal. Small steps.
So I punted on the rave and opted for a two-hour cuddle with my former fling. She has a boyfriend now, so I had to respect limits, but even semi-vertical and clothes on, damn that felt good. Yes, I *can* feel the love. There is something special about ending a relationship before you start fighting and break up. Ever after, there is always this flirty "yeah and you know there's more where that came from" relationship.
Then an hour on the business plan, eight hours of sleep, four more hours on the BP, and off to my meeting. I guess it paid off.
Bought Tom Petty tickets for me and a buddy. I thought about asking a girl, but I can't see splitting my attention like that. Going with a person I know I'll never sleep with, I can concentrate on the show. Besides, he can cover his own ticket. I used to be a highly paid professional. I have sunk so low that I cringe at dropping $37.50 on TOM FREAKING PETTY. But I bit the bullet. I've worshipped this guy since 1980. And I swear on my Father's grave that if Tom cleaned up, his post-rehab album would rock like Damn The Torpedoes. He'd be cooler than Mick Jagger and Steven Tyler put together.
<3 LiLA.