2009, where did you go? You were an instant in my life, yet the longest year I ever remember. I cannot even understand how these two things collide, but somehow they have.
This was the beginning.
I've grown younger, and then back up again. This also makes no sense, but whatever.
These two boys were the mainstay of my existence.
We moved out of our shitty apartment, remodeled our house(well, started on it) and now I miss that shitty apartment with a vengeance. I'm tired of living in a town of old people. In a town where I have history. In a town where I spent my first disaster of a marriage. It makes me miss my old husband sometimes, but not for the love aspect, for the friendship, for the irresponsible cohabitation we had, for the lack of concern for anything but the immediate future. I needed to start paying closer attention to what the fuck was going to happen to me eventually, but I still long for that feeling of carelessness sometimes.
So I was officially divorced from aforementioned first husband this year, got engaged two weeks later, and then married the man that both set me free and kept my head on straight. He is a godsend, if slightly insane. I like to believe our co-insanity is what keeps us in check. And it doesn't hurt that he's ridiculously adorable.
Other things have happened, new jobs, new friends, catching up with old friends. Feeling things that confuse the hell out of me. Regretting decisions, reconciling that regret with myself. Figuring out my school situation. Learning to be happy through making others feel the same. It's been the most confusing life of my year, I think, but also the one that makes the most sense. I have no idea what the next year holds, and it is exciting and terrifying to me, because if you had sat me down and gave me the game plan for this year, I would have called you crazy. But it all happened, it really did, so I can only expect there are plenty more surprises in store for me in 2010. I also have a strong suspicion that this could be the year I either become a mother, or at least become in the way for that to happen. I don't know this for sure, and that whole idea scares the shit out of me, but it really wouldn't be so bad. We'll see what happens.
Hope your year has been strange, confusing, pleasing, and different than every other one. And I hope you also look forward to the future with me. And don't forget to be a goon.
This was the beginning.
I've grown younger, and then back up again. This also makes no sense, but whatever.
These two boys were the mainstay of my existence.
We moved out of our shitty apartment, remodeled our house(well, started on it) and now I miss that shitty apartment with a vengeance. I'm tired of living in a town of old people. In a town where I have history. In a town where I spent my first disaster of a marriage. It makes me miss my old husband sometimes, but not for the love aspect, for the friendship, for the irresponsible cohabitation we had, for the lack of concern for anything but the immediate future. I needed to start paying closer attention to what the fuck was going to happen to me eventually, but I still long for that feeling of carelessness sometimes.
So I was officially divorced from aforementioned first husband this year, got engaged two weeks later, and then married the man that both set me free and kept my head on straight. He is a godsend, if slightly insane. I like to believe our co-insanity is what keeps us in check. And it doesn't hurt that he's ridiculously adorable.
Other things have happened, new jobs, new friends, catching up with old friends. Feeling things that confuse the hell out of me. Regretting decisions, reconciling that regret with myself. Figuring out my school situation. Learning to be happy through making others feel the same. It's been the most confusing life of my year, I think, but also the one that makes the most sense. I have no idea what the next year holds, and it is exciting and terrifying to me, because if you had sat me down and gave me the game plan for this year, I would have called you crazy. But it all happened, it really did, so I can only expect there are plenty more surprises in store for me in 2010. I also have a strong suspicion that this could be the year I either become a mother, or at least become in the way for that to happen. I don't know this for sure, and that whole idea scares the shit out of me, but it really wouldn't be so bad. We'll see what happens.
Hope your year has been strange, confusing, pleasing, and different than every other one. And I hope you also look forward to the future with me. And don't forget to be a goon.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
chazgasm:
haha it was back at the end of may. I was right outside of morgantown and we stayed at lakeview resort and played its two courses
vonpink:
have a great new year