I have decided to write this; at a time when thinking about my qualities is the last thing i want to do. Maybe that’s why i am writing it… but i think, it needs to be written as one thing i do is hate myself, finding what seems like millions of stupid and small reasons to build a case against myself almost just despising things i say, the way i am. The consequences of years of self abuse, being abused and just growing up through trauma.
I know i am not alone in this and i am sure others haven’t chosen this blog yet but similar reasons. Thinking about yourself positively isn’t thought about in my house; where i am from. People often just call you egotistical or big headed when you blow your own trumpet and that i think is truly awful of humanity. Perhaps its fuelled by jealousy amongst other things but still, not the way to be brought up and thinking.
I know there are plenty of things i could write if this were a blog for things you wish you could change. I bet we could all write an essay or two on that topic! Thinking of my qualities is a tough task. Necessary, but tough.
So, enough procrastinating then…
Right. I am an overly caring person. I sometimes think its a curse; caring too much about strangers, wanting to help others over myself. But, that i suppose has caused me as much trouble as good because people just aren’t used to that shit. So i dunno; would you say it is a quality? I find i am stuck between a rock and a crazy place half the time but this is beyond lol.
If i said my ass i would be right in 2014. But, 2015 has brought weight, more trauma and cellulite lmao. God dam. I wish it were 2014. I was vain when it came to my ass lmao. My pride and joy :’)
Still, 2016 will change me and hopefully the gym. Yeh that too ;)
Okay, well that narrows my qualities down to my inability to lie (don’t get me wrong when it is necessary i can ‘act’ but i find that slightly different cos i couldn’t com up to a person i knew or anyone in person and lie to their face, i get sick in my mouth almost its pointless; but if i had to help someone and needed to put on an act; be someone else for a cause then i can - mainly because i enjoy acting chose it for A level and want to do it more) OR
My stand up comedy thing; in general basically i am pretty good with comedy, its something i love doing, making people laugh and am getting better at it. I want to start doing it and will likely be making videos soon and uploading to see about feedback etc as i appreciate people’s opinions good or bad. I am good at making sad people happy, (shame that doesn’t apply to myself HA) i am good at stopping tears, making someone laugh that needs to or finding a funny joke to an awkward situation etc.
I am unsure about making a decision so i might have to leave this here and come back to it. Thank you for reading it and i want to motivate more girls on here to sit and write this cos your all amazing, and have hidden talents, obvious qualities that you should sit and write about cos i want to read it!
Stay classy Suicide Girls/Members <3
@bloghomework
KelseyKaos!!
