I am feeling a little nostalgic today. My sister, mom, aunt, and my friend Nevin just left to go help Shannon move into her dorm for her sophomore year of college. I am sad to see her go. I have to work in an hour, which is why I am not with her right now. It was nice to have her home this summer. I am feeling a little sad right now, which is why I am listening to U2 and sulking in the dining room. I am hungry. Which is why I am writing this whilst eating/drinking a soy burger and green tea.
As Saturday is the official end to the week, I feel the need to tell you: I did not have a very good week.
I got my hair cut Thursday. I will post pictures later. I don't really know as if I like it. It's short. It makes me look like I'm 13. It makes me look like I am kind and tender and pure. And maybe it's too accurate to be liked.
I am so exhausted of people going out of their way to make me feel like a terrible person. I know I am a lot of things. I know I am confused and lost and sensitive and dramatic and personal and too honest and paranoid. But I am not a terrible person, or a terrible friend.
I have not been a terrible friend to you, K. When you call me at one in the morning stressed out about your future or friends or work or anything else, I have the time for you. I build you up so that you can later scream at me, "You make me feel small and feeble." We discuss matters of the heart so you can later throw it back in my face to point out how I am petty. I am happy that I have given so much of myself to you and have cut myself open letting you see everything and anything you wanted so that you can take it all in and then leave me with nothing.
So yes. One of my friends... or someone I thought was my friend... broke my heart this weekend.
The truth about me? (Concept taken from capitalistfig.)
I am a senior in high school. I was held back in pre-school. And then I spent an unnecessary year in kindergarten. My grandparents thought I was "slow." Now I am number one in a class of 144. Two of my best friends are tied with me. I am not a snob about my grades. I am not one of those people you are allowed to hate because they get straight As without even trying. I work my ass off in school. I am not naturally a genius or anything like that. I feel I have bragging rights because I, A) don't boast about my grades very often, and B) I have spent many long, tear-filled nights studying for tests solely to keep my grades up to pay for an after-high-school education I could never afford otherwise.
Green is the only thing in the world that always makes me happy.
I am not conniving or hateful or violent. But I can be bitter.
I am going to college at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio to study photojournalism.
INXS will always be my favorite band and Michael Hutchence will always be my favorite singer and that will never ever change and it will always be my thing for which people remember me.
I do not like hypocritical, back-stabbing, surfacey people. The kind of people who talk about Sara amongst a group of people and say, "Oh my God, I cannot believe Sara got Bratwurst Festival Queen. She is such a fucking bitch and so did not deserve it." Then a few days later they see Sara in the local coffee joint and run up to Sara, hugging Sara, saying, "Hello sweety, how are you doing today?"
I honestly believe that love will show you the answers. Love will show you that there aren't any answers.
To be continued.
EDIT. Tonight was the last night I worked with my good friend/co-worker Kati because she is quitting and her last day is Thursday (we only worked Friday and Saturday nights together). I am very depressed when I think about that. She and I had so many fun nights working together. So many memories. And our friendship really blossomed throughout the six months we worked together.
When you think about it, memories are really the only things we can count on.
As Saturday is the official end to the week, I feel the need to tell you: I did not have a very good week.
I got my hair cut Thursday. I will post pictures later. I don't really know as if I like it. It's short. It makes me look like I'm 13. It makes me look like I am kind and tender and pure. And maybe it's too accurate to be liked.
I am so exhausted of people going out of their way to make me feel like a terrible person. I know I am a lot of things. I know I am confused and lost and sensitive and dramatic and personal and too honest and paranoid. But I am not a terrible person, or a terrible friend.
I have not been a terrible friend to you, K. When you call me at one in the morning stressed out about your future or friends or work or anything else, I have the time for you. I build you up so that you can later scream at me, "You make me feel small and feeble." We discuss matters of the heart so you can later throw it back in my face to point out how I am petty. I am happy that I have given so much of myself to you and have cut myself open letting you see everything and anything you wanted so that you can take it all in and then leave me with nothing.
So yes. One of my friends... or someone I thought was my friend... broke my heart this weekend.
The truth about me? (Concept taken from capitalistfig.)
I am a senior in high school. I was held back in pre-school. And then I spent an unnecessary year in kindergarten. My grandparents thought I was "slow." Now I am number one in a class of 144. Two of my best friends are tied with me. I am not a snob about my grades. I am not one of those people you are allowed to hate because they get straight As without even trying. I work my ass off in school. I am not naturally a genius or anything like that. I feel I have bragging rights because I, A) don't boast about my grades very often, and B) I have spent many long, tear-filled nights studying for tests solely to keep my grades up to pay for an after-high-school education I could never afford otherwise.
Green is the only thing in the world that always makes me happy.
I am not conniving or hateful or violent. But I can be bitter.
I am going to college at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio to study photojournalism.
INXS will always be my favorite band and Michael Hutchence will always be my favorite singer and that will never ever change and it will always be my thing for which people remember me.
I do not like hypocritical, back-stabbing, surfacey people. The kind of people who talk about Sara amongst a group of people and say, "Oh my God, I cannot believe Sara got Bratwurst Festival Queen. She is such a fucking bitch and so did not deserve it." Then a few days later they see Sara in the local coffee joint and run up to Sara, hugging Sara, saying, "Hello sweety, how are you doing today?"
I honestly believe that love will show you the answers. Love will show you that there aren't any answers.
To be continued.
EDIT. Tonight was the last night I worked with my good friend/co-worker Kati because she is quitting and her last day is Thursday (we only worked Friday and Saturday nights together). I am very depressed when I think about that. She and I had so many fun nights working together. So many memories. And our friendship really blossomed throughout the six months we worked together.
When you think about it, memories are really the only things we can count on.
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
Oh Six Feet Under how I loved thee... I could relate to those characters more than more people I know. My favorite character... Brenda and Claire on and off, but I did grow a love for David and Keith as they matured into fathers.
The ending made me cry like a baby.
Seemed fitting.