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kelland

Bucyrus, Ohio

Member Since 2004

Followers 232 Following 133

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Thursday Jul 14, 2005

Jul 14, 2005
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"I don't know why you're mean to me. When I call on the telephone. And I don't know what you mean to me. But I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out, want to
take you on." Strange Currencies by the amazing R.E.M.

I suppose I am better. I suppose I am coping. I suppose I have abandoned any hermit-like tendencies and pity parties and tears. I have completely and utterly avoided the tears. I was smart enough to expect what was coming and I'm not necessarily sure it was something with which I should be detrimentally sad. I suppose it's time I get my shit together, figure out who I am, figure out what I'm about, and attempt to fix the flaws here and there and the phoniness all about me. I say that often but this time, it is almost a necessity. I suppose I do have a few good friends, and some of which actually love me, believe it or not. I am happy for that, for them, for everything, and at times for nothing at all.

Don't we all find ourselves there. Don't we all just want to be loved. Don't we want to have someone to hug us tightly and tell us we are the most important people in their world. Don't we all want to avoid conflict and chaos and corruption. Don't we all just want something on which to depend.

Have any of you watched the INXS reality show? Being that I have always been an avid fan and Michael Hutchence supporter and admirer, I have. I find myself being extremely cruel and critical of the performers. It is almost heartbreaking for me to watch as I feel I have a somewhat metaphysical connection to Mr. Hutchence. But alas.
Yesterday I came close to being killed in a motor vehicle once again when a dumbass group of incoherent assholes slammed into me while I was entering and they were backing out of the Subway parking lot. Of course it was not my fault, but of course they didn't have insurance and were driving under a suspended license. And I have guardian angels. Because they actually stopped for a second, leading me to believe they SAW AND HEARD ME, and so I sped up to scurry out of the way and thank goodness because they nearly missed the driver's seat when we collided. But Shannon and I gave police reports. Visited the insurance company. Visited the police department. Lovely summer I've been having. Hopefully their asses are sued and I don't have to pay for yet another car mishap. I already dished out $71 earlier in the week for a new muffler. Mind you, this is my sister's car. I just happen to drive it the most, therefore I absorb the burden of gas expenses, repairs, scratches from yellow posts in the Wendy's drive-thru, so forth and so on.

It's time for me to head to my second residence and place of employment.

It began when we said, "Let's be friends." And my busy head started to spin.
VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
pb:
dreams are sometimes the best torture devices.
Jul 17, 2005
mat8drb:
I look like that all the time. Except yesterday. Where I just looked tired.

Travelling is fun; waiting is not. Even for work, it can be nice. I think I've got half a day in Orlando on Friday. I've enjoyed he little bits of Washington I've seen as a tourist.

The INXS reality show starts next week here, I think. On VH1, I think. I'm a bit out of touch at the moment.

I used to love that song. I remember it being the theme song to unrequited crushes.

I love the friends I have, although they are far away.
Jul 17, 2005

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