kelland

I wish I had written this song for you.

Don't want to lose my shirt
Don't want to dig the dirt
Don't want you to get hurt
Can't help but I'm a flirt
Don't want to take your drugs
Don't want to be a slug
Don't want to overdress
Don't want to make a mess
Don't want you to confess
Not under duress
Don't want be untrue
I want to be with you
Don't want to lose my nerve
Don't want to throw the curve
Don't want to make you swerve
Don't want what I deserve
Don't want to change the frame
Don't want to be a pain
Don't wanna stay the same

I find that life is full of disappointments. These disappointments can range from rather small "I will brush this aside and forgive you for the next time we meet," to "I can't believe you let me down... we're never speaking again." While I can't say I've had many if any of the latter, I've had so fucking many of the previous that they are beginning to add up. Multiply. Breed. Out of control. I think several minor disappointments in a relatively small time frame is enough to compensate for a disappointment of the larger variety. I've had my fill. The cup is overflowing.

Tonight after work I drove in the rain and the thunder and the overall poor weather conditions and did not pay attention to the road. I was focused on my feelings. I never pay attention when I drive. I have the inability to put my emotions on the shelf to perform normal day-to-day functions. When I am upset, I just cannot deal. This of course makes it obvious to everyone that I'm upset. I don't fucking care about it anymore. There are so many people in this world, in this conventional little town that I come in contact with on a regular basis, that don't CARE about anything. I would rather care too much and let it consume my life than feel nothing at all.

GET A FUCKING BACKBONE. I AM EXPLODING INSIDE BECAUSE OF THIS SITUATION.

No. I'm not. Not sorry for that.

I think a lot more people would appreciate U2 if they downloaded the U2 side project album Passengers and listened to it. It is a stunning collection of beautiful songs.

I sit here and I am so blank. I don't have the energy to ammend our plans. Or to make new ones. I want to see how much you care.

I don't feel like one of the most beautiful people, inside and out, anymore.

E quell'amore non so pi aspettare.