kelland

Do I update my journal to much? Is that possible? You tell me.

Some people spend Valentine's Day eating chocolate and receiving flowers from people whom they admire or who admire them. Some dine out with their designated loved one and propose marriage. Some have hot, wild sex whilst wearing fancy red Victoria Secret lingerie. Some become insanely depressed and station themselves in front of a TV with a gallon of rocky road in one hand and the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly in the other. I will be spending it in a lonely room at the dentist's office with a stranger's hands in my mouth. That may sound sort of kinky, but don't read into it.

I think that if you are dissatisfied with your next purchase, whatever or whenever that may be, you should charge into the store and scream, "This is the shoddiest piece of shit I've ever seen!" Not only will the store employees be alarmed by your choice of profane language, but they will be thoroughly impressed with your use of the word "shoddy," an uncommonly used and underrated word in the English language. For that, they will hug you and kiss you and change the name of the store to your name in honor of your greatness. Or they might just refund your purchase and send you on your way. But the former is splendid enough to try.

I believe some people have the misconception that when I write about my friends Sara and Tegan, I am joking about their names actually being Sara and Tegan. I am aware there is a band with the same name. It's just a fun coincidence. Also, my Tegan is not this Tegan. My Tegan resembles John Lennon and enjoys eating spaghetti and running track (the latter being the odder aspect of her personality).

So anywho. I want a satin yellow dress. I think I look pretty in satin yellow dresses. And I want one. So, you know, try to arrange that if at all possible.

Sara's boyfriend (and my friend) Seth is mad at me for some reason. He hasn't spoken to me in a week and today I finally mustered the will to write him a note and ask him why. He never responded. He then told Sara that he didn't feel comfortable telling me why he has chosen to ignore me. He told her he was afraid I would be mad at him" for his reasoning. It fucking hurts and I want to know what the fuck is going on. This seems to be a common trend in my life: People decide on a complete whim to ignore me. They never explain why. They just stop talking to me and associating with me. Then when I become upset and demand answers they act like I am the one being irrational. BAH, I say! BAH!

However, I feel like I am establishing new beginnings in other arenas of my social life.

I am listening to great music via Judas's generous mailage. I also received awesome packages from heathavoid and crushjunkie (who needs to get his ass out of anonymous mode) last week (or so).

Yesterday I attended the DECA competition. The date was moved to yesterday because of the massive amounts of snow Ohio received last month. Jessica and I didn't do as well as we thought we did, and I left feeling a little down and discouraged. Maybe even, dare I say, dumb. Yeah, I know that's an awful thing to feel. But I've been feeling pretty unintelligent in general lately. I just feel like my entire life I've been spoon-fed compliments regarding my mind. And lately I've come to realize that I am not exactly as bright as people claim me to be. I keep setting high expectations for myself that I cannot seem to meet. E.G. The ACT. DECA. Blah blah blah. I don't want to be a jack of all trades. I want to be a master of one trade. Just one fucking trade.