Warning: This journal is long. But entertaining. So read it or DIE.
WHY HELLO THERE! You know what I hate? When I wake up, take a piss, walk downstairs, and my mom asks me, "So how are you doing?" Um. I don't know how the hell I'm doing yet. I've only been immersed in wakefulness for about four minutes tops. Nothing has happened to determine "how I'm doing." Blargh. I'm sure she asks this question with good intentions but it buggers the hell out of me.
Snow day Tuesday. I wouldn't have had class that day anyway because I took "an independent study day," i.e. a day off, due to my 4.0 perks. Then yesterday DECA was cancelled, but I had to go to school anyway, which was fucking stupid. They said I could have today off to make up for coming to school and sitting through eight hours of exam review for exams I'm not even taking. So that was nice I suppose.
I visited my former crush history teacher yesterday as well. That was a lot of fun. He seemed to enjoy my neon green eye shadow and orange Chuck Taylors and I enjoyed his pleasant leather coat and impeccably straight teeth.
Today Sara and I went out to lunch at the coffeehouse. I had a Sandpiper: a cappuccino with caramel and white chocolate flavoring... mmm, my favorite. Then we drove around for nearly half an hour listening to an Eddie Murphey CD she found under the seat in her car. It was just one of his stand-up routines in CD format. Some parts were funny but I was getting kind of annoyed by the repetitive swearing.
We went to Wal*mart and I found a pink and orange old lady jacket that I'm going to buy thanks to Jessica's fashionable referrals. Once back in the car, I took a picture of Sara taking a picture of me. That's always entertaining.
Then we went to tutor our childrens at the elementary. This is where the fun begins. First off, today was math day. Math day means the deadly combo of Billiam (I affectionately call him that), Cody, and Austin. However, Billiam wasn't there today. Phew. But Cody still was a pain in the ass and in turn, so was Austin. You see, our little math posse was fine up until a few weeks ago. Then Jessica had to quit tutoring and so her math children were distributed to the other tutors. I got Cody. He is hyper... one of those kids who laughs at everything and makes absolutely no sense when he attempts to talk. He also likes to fashion idiotic expressions 99% of the time. He never does his work, and he always is blabbing about something he finds hysterical. Yeah. So anyway, Austin was my little sweetheart until Cody came and robbed him of his obedience. Now Cody never works and goofs around and laughs and acts like a real little jerk. Miranda and Ronna, the two girls, are naturally very good.
Let us break down the tutoring experience today.
PROFICIENCY TESTS ARE FOR LOSERS: Every week we are to assign them so many practice proficiency test questions to complete on their own (we discuss and share answers after everyone is finished). Well, since we just finished a test, I went down to the office and requested a new test. The advisor lady, whom I cannot stand, gave me a stack of new practice tests after I explained to her several times that I was finished completing the one test and needed a different version. This took about 10 minutes. Ten minutes completely wasted. Then I returned back to the classroom with the new tests. But upon returning, I realized I was sick-and-fucking tired of doing practice proficiency test questions with them all the time (which doesn't seem to be helping them anyway). I decided to put the test stuff off and instead play a flashcard game with the kids, thinking they might enjoy that more.
DIVISION GAME/FLAMERS VS. ALL-STARS: The boys teamed up and wanted to be called the Flamers. The girls couldn't think of a name so I suggested the All-Stars. I said whilst pointing at my feet, "Well, my shoes are called All-Stars, and they, as you can obviously see, are cool. And since you guys have the same name as my shoes, you are cool, too!" They just stared at me blankly. I coughed awkwardly and moved on. We began the game. The girls whooped the boys, and the boys in turn said I was cheating by letting them win. Yeah. Okay.
STUPID FUCKING MARTHA STEWART-ESQUE ADVISOR: During the game, the advisor lady came into our room with a stack of tests. She retrieved the tests I HAD JUST GOTTEN and replaced them with the stack she was carrying. This confused me but I was preoccupied with the kids and didn't think anything of it. When we were finished playing the game, I handed them the "new" tests. I quickly discovered they were the exact same tests I we had just finished. So. She came back into the room and took the new tests away and gave me a stack of old ones after I had spent 10 minutes in the office telling her we needed new ones. Fucking hell!
OH, SO NOW THE TESTS HAVE ANSWERS INCLUDED: I went back to the office for a second time. Explained to her that I had the right tests and she came into my room and replaced them with the old fucking tests like fucking Idiot McIdioters, and I needed the new tests back. After this frustration, I returned to my children, who were unruly and loud and argh... I told them to do 1-8 and sit quietly once they were finished. Then one of them perks up and says, "Hey, why do some of the answer choices have lines under them?" Oh. My. Fucking. Word. So I ask them, "Which ones are underlined, 1-8?" And they proceed to tell me which answer is underlined for each question, and I check their responses with the answer key. THE ANSWERS ARE BLOODY UNDERLINED IN ALL THE COPIES OF THE TEST! How lovely. At this point I just gave up and told them not to do any of it.
There you have it. The pleasures of educating young minds.
I miss my crushjunkie. He needs to come back. Now.
After tutoring, Sara and I went to the bowling alley to watch Seth bowl. He is on the bowling team. Once we got there, I saw an immediate change in Sara. She suddenly became quiet and angry. She sat there, expressionless, and didn't respond to any of Seth's attention. I thought that was odd. Maybe, I thought, she was angry because some of his attention was diverted to a girl on his team. I don't know. We took Seth home after that and it was just awkward. I was singing loudly and dancing to Tears for Fears on the radio and the both of them acted as if they had just seen someone die. I tried to document Seth's particularly greasy hair, but he wouldn't let me.
One last note to close: My new favorite word is "whilst." If you get tired of me saying it, then too bad. If you complain, I will sever your pinky in a most unusual and heinous nature. You come up with a word that is equally fun and I will award you in small penguin-shaped marshmallows. ALSO. Synnove has won a place in my heart.
WHY HELLO THERE! You know what I hate? When I wake up, take a piss, walk downstairs, and my mom asks me, "So how are you doing?" Um. I don't know how the hell I'm doing yet. I've only been immersed in wakefulness for about four minutes tops. Nothing has happened to determine "how I'm doing." Blargh. I'm sure she asks this question with good intentions but it buggers the hell out of me.
Snow day Tuesday. I wouldn't have had class that day anyway because I took "an independent study day," i.e. a day off, due to my 4.0 perks. Then yesterday DECA was cancelled, but I had to go to school anyway, which was fucking stupid. They said I could have today off to make up for coming to school and sitting through eight hours of exam review for exams I'm not even taking. So that was nice I suppose.
I visited my former crush history teacher yesterday as well. That was a lot of fun. He seemed to enjoy my neon green eye shadow and orange Chuck Taylors and I enjoyed his pleasant leather coat and impeccably straight teeth.
Today Sara and I went out to lunch at the coffeehouse. I had a Sandpiper: a cappuccino with caramel and white chocolate flavoring... mmm, my favorite. Then we drove around for nearly half an hour listening to an Eddie Murphey CD she found under the seat in her car. It was just one of his stand-up routines in CD format. Some parts were funny but I was getting kind of annoyed by the repetitive swearing.
We went to Wal*mart and I found a pink and orange old lady jacket that I'm going to buy thanks to Jessica's fashionable referrals. Once back in the car, I took a picture of Sara taking a picture of me. That's always entertaining.
Then we went to tutor our childrens at the elementary. This is where the fun begins. First off, today was math day. Math day means the deadly combo of Billiam (I affectionately call him that), Cody, and Austin. However, Billiam wasn't there today. Phew. But Cody still was a pain in the ass and in turn, so was Austin. You see, our little math posse was fine up until a few weeks ago. Then Jessica had to quit tutoring and so her math children were distributed to the other tutors. I got Cody. He is hyper... one of those kids who laughs at everything and makes absolutely no sense when he attempts to talk. He also likes to fashion idiotic expressions 99% of the time. He never does his work, and he always is blabbing about something he finds hysterical. Yeah. So anyway, Austin was my little sweetheart until Cody came and robbed him of his obedience. Now Cody never works and goofs around and laughs and acts like a real little jerk. Miranda and Ronna, the two girls, are naturally very good.
Let us break down the tutoring experience today.
PROFICIENCY TESTS ARE FOR LOSERS: Every week we are to assign them so many practice proficiency test questions to complete on their own (we discuss and share answers after everyone is finished). Well, since we just finished a test, I went down to the office and requested a new test. The advisor lady, whom I cannot stand, gave me a stack of new practice tests after I explained to her several times that I was finished completing the one test and needed a different version. This took about 10 minutes. Ten minutes completely wasted. Then I returned back to the classroom with the new tests. But upon returning, I realized I was sick-and-fucking tired of doing practice proficiency test questions with them all the time (which doesn't seem to be helping them anyway). I decided to put the test stuff off and instead play a flashcard game with the kids, thinking they might enjoy that more.
DIVISION GAME/FLAMERS VS. ALL-STARS: The boys teamed up and wanted to be called the Flamers. The girls couldn't think of a name so I suggested the All-Stars. I said whilst pointing at my feet, "Well, my shoes are called All-Stars, and they, as you can obviously see, are cool. And since you guys have the same name as my shoes, you are cool, too!" They just stared at me blankly. I coughed awkwardly and moved on. We began the game. The girls whooped the boys, and the boys in turn said I was cheating by letting them win. Yeah. Okay.
STUPID FUCKING MARTHA STEWART-ESQUE ADVISOR: During the game, the advisor lady came into our room with a stack of tests. She retrieved the tests I HAD JUST GOTTEN and replaced them with the stack she was carrying. This confused me but I was preoccupied with the kids and didn't think anything of it. When we were finished playing the game, I handed them the "new" tests. I quickly discovered they were the exact same tests I we had just finished. So. She came back into the room and took the new tests away and gave me a stack of old ones after I had spent 10 minutes in the office telling her we needed new ones. Fucking hell!
OH, SO NOW THE TESTS HAVE ANSWERS INCLUDED: I went back to the office for a second time. Explained to her that I had the right tests and she came into my room and replaced them with the old fucking tests like fucking Idiot McIdioters, and I needed the new tests back. After this frustration, I returned to my children, who were unruly and loud and argh... I told them to do 1-8 and sit quietly once they were finished. Then one of them perks up and says, "Hey, why do some of the answer choices have lines under them?" Oh. My. Fucking. Word. So I ask them, "Which ones are underlined, 1-8?" And they proceed to tell me which answer is underlined for each question, and I check their responses with the answer key. THE ANSWERS ARE BLOODY UNDERLINED IN ALL THE COPIES OF THE TEST! How lovely. At this point I just gave up and told them not to do any of it.
There you have it. The pleasures of educating young minds.
I miss my crushjunkie. He needs to come back. Now.
After tutoring, Sara and I went to the bowling alley to watch Seth bowl. He is on the bowling team. Once we got there, I saw an immediate change in Sara. She suddenly became quiet and angry. She sat there, expressionless, and didn't respond to any of Seth's attention. I thought that was odd. Maybe, I thought, she was angry because some of his attention was diverted to a girl on his team. I don't know. We took Seth home after that and it was just awkward. I was singing loudly and dancing to Tears for Fears on the radio and the both of them acted as if they had just seen someone die. I tried to document Seth's particularly greasy hair, but he wouldn't let me.
One last note to close: My new favorite word is "whilst." If you get tired of me saying it, then too bad. If you complain, I will sever your pinky in a most unusual and heinous nature. You come up with a word that is equally fun and I will award you in small penguin-shaped marshmallows. ALSO. Synnove has won a place in my heart.
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thanks for sharing! i will read your entry...