I finally see the light
Down on the east side
Wasted like a memory
If I had a car I'd drive
Straight off the bridge
Into the river, it would empty me
Pretty pictures in a magazine
Everybody is so make believe, it's true
I used to be sad
Now I'm just bored with you
You're doomed to repeat the past
'Cause nothing is gonna last
I burned all of your photographs
- "Burning Photographs" by Ryan Adams.
Read the last post if you haven't. Go. Now.
I quit my job last night. I quit along with my best friend Jessica and Brittany, another friend from work. We went in together at closing time and confronted our boss. We wanted to be reasonable. We wanted to explain ourselves and be calm and be diplomatic. But that is not what happened. What happened was that she went fucking insane and said things she really shouldn't have said and I had to leave because I was hysterically crying and shaking.
First of all, let me explain that I had every reason to quit. So did Jessica. So did Brittany. So did the two other people that called off last night and are quitting later this week. Our boss is completely unstable. She comes into work sick. She complains all the time. She throws up in the bathroom and comes to work unbathed. She yells at us for dumb things and refuses to help at all. Her husband is a fucking pervert who follows us around and watches us intently as we complete tasks. He says inapproprite things. He asks you if you're going to go "party and get drunk" after work. He asks my friend Jessica if she wants to lick hot fudge off my arm (so he can get off on it). He asks me to hand out free food for him when he thinks some little kid is cute or whatever so I can embarrass myself when the people look at me and go, "I didn't order this." These people do not confront you when they have a problem with something you are doing. They write notes about it. So you come into work and there's about five notes left on the desk. Most of the time they are sitting right there not saying a word as you read their notes. Isn't that beyond fucked-up?! They pay us below minimun wage because they say we waitress and therefor get tips. Well, it's set up like a fast food restaurant. People order through the window. Pay. We make their food and hand it out. And they leave. Who leaves a tip? No one. Meanwhile we get paid $4.35 an hour. We are not waitresses. They just claim we are so they can pay us less and cheat the system.
We do not get free break food. We have to pay 1/2 for everything we eat. We are not allowed to eat mistakes. We have to waste food. We are not allowed to do anything else on break but eat. No reading. No doing homework. We are not allowed to save leftover food from break and take it home. We are not allowed to share the food WE PAID FOR with anyone else. My boss became angry because I roll my black pants up when it's hot in the building, exposing about 4 inches of sock. She says this is a "health code violation." Yes, seeing what color socks I'm wearing is going to harm the food in some way. Yet we are allowed to wear shorts to work. One night our boss left a 15-year-old who kisses ass in charge over me and my elder friends. Not only is that wrong and idiotic, it's illegal.
Those are just a few of the reasons why we quit. Well, my boss, who has always treated Jessica (who worked there last year and was asked to come back this year) well, told us we were terrible workers. When I was ready to leave and said, "Well, I think we have been good workers," she said, "No you haven't. You are terrible workers. I would never recommend you for work ever." After I spent half of my summer there when I could've been somewhere else. After I've come in there despite my depression in April and May that almost crippled me from going to school and carrying out my life. After I cleaned and swept and washed more thoroughly than anyone in that damn place. After I've always been given the indication that I was doing a good job. She said she didn't have a problem with Brittany. Evidently Brittany had never wronged her. But Jessica and I were just two evil, irresponsible, terrible teenagers with lip piercings (Jessica) and rolled up pants (me). Ridiculous is all I can say.
That wasn't all. Lorie came out of nowhere and said, "I'm really tired of everyone complaining when they come to work, too." I retorted with, "Lorie, I have come to work despite a lot and have never complained to you." Then she said something like, "Oh, you and you being so sad about your boyfriend." (I never even mentioned this to her. I wouldn't. I have been sad at work but I have never discussed it with her in-depth other than saying I was going through a hard time when she asked one night. I told her about my sister moving and my dad quitting work but I never mentioned anything more.) The fact that she brought it up caught me off guard and confused me. I could tell this was just something she wanted to use to hurt me. "I will tell you this, Erica. The minute you started dating him you turned into a bad worker. Your attitude towards work changed and you changed. For the worse. Ask anyone in this place. Ask your friends Brittany and Jessica. They'll tell you. Everyone talked about you." I became very upset and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." And Jessica agreed. And I had to walk out because Lorie kept going on and on and trying to put me down more and more. When I got in the parking lot I just started crying really hard. She did not have to mention personal things. She did not have to tell Jessica and I we were worthless. She did not have to mention him. She was totally out of line and cruel. And I'm glad that I never have to go back and I quit when I did. Jessica was furious and stormed inside and demanded Lorie apologize to me, but her husband told her not to to apologize so she wouldn't "make a scene" (there was no one there... it was an hour after closing time). Then Jessica told me that Lorie said, "I'm not sorry for what I said, anyway."
What the bloody hell is WRONG with people in this world? Do people get enjoyment of making light of your pain? Your struggles? Do they have to fucking exploit it and put it on the fucking line when they are not even involved or affected by the situation? Do they go out of their way to be mean to you when you've never wronged them? Do they just feel so fucking great about themselves by looking at you and going, "You're fucking shit. I think nothing of you." I don't understand. I really don't. If you can see I'm sad, OK. Why the fuck do you want to make me sadder? Haha. I am laughing at this point.
Putting that fucked-up situation aside, I helped Shannon go back to college tonight. She came to town to visit for the weekend and Jessica spent the night last night so we could all be together. We helped her carry stuff to her dorm and we met her roommate who seems very nice. I got home about two hours ago and ate dinner at 10:30. It was interesting sitting down to a family meal at that hour. I miss her already.
I'm really tired now. I think I'm going to sleep. Thank you for all the supportive comments on my last post. It really means a lot.
Down on the east side
Wasted like a memory
If I had a car I'd drive
Straight off the bridge
Into the river, it would empty me
Pretty pictures in a magazine
Everybody is so make believe, it's true
I used to be sad
Now I'm just bored with you
You're doomed to repeat the past
'Cause nothing is gonna last
I burned all of your photographs
- "Burning Photographs" by Ryan Adams.
Read the last post if you haven't. Go. Now.
I quit my job last night. I quit along with my best friend Jessica and Brittany, another friend from work. We went in together at closing time and confronted our boss. We wanted to be reasonable. We wanted to explain ourselves and be calm and be diplomatic. But that is not what happened. What happened was that she went fucking insane and said things she really shouldn't have said and I had to leave because I was hysterically crying and shaking.
First of all, let me explain that I had every reason to quit. So did Jessica. So did Brittany. So did the two other people that called off last night and are quitting later this week. Our boss is completely unstable. She comes into work sick. She complains all the time. She throws up in the bathroom and comes to work unbathed. She yells at us for dumb things and refuses to help at all. Her husband is a fucking pervert who follows us around and watches us intently as we complete tasks. He says inapproprite things. He asks you if you're going to go "party and get drunk" after work. He asks my friend Jessica if she wants to lick hot fudge off my arm (so he can get off on it). He asks me to hand out free food for him when he thinks some little kid is cute or whatever so I can embarrass myself when the people look at me and go, "I didn't order this." These people do not confront you when they have a problem with something you are doing. They write notes about it. So you come into work and there's about five notes left on the desk. Most of the time they are sitting right there not saying a word as you read their notes. Isn't that beyond fucked-up?! They pay us below minimun wage because they say we waitress and therefor get tips. Well, it's set up like a fast food restaurant. People order through the window. Pay. We make their food and hand it out. And they leave. Who leaves a tip? No one. Meanwhile we get paid $4.35 an hour. We are not waitresses. They just claim we are so they can pay us less and cheat the system.
We do not get free break food. We have to pay 1/2 for everything we eat. We are not allowed to eat mistakes. We have to waste food. We are not allowed to do anything else on break but eat. No reading. No doing homework. We are not allowed to save leftover food from break and take it home. We are not allowed to share the food WE PAID FOR with anyone else. My boss became angry because I roll my black pants up when it's hot in the building, exposing about 4 inches of sock. She says this is a "health code violation." Yes, seeing what color socks I'm wearing is going to harm the food in some way. Yet we are allowed to wear shorts to work. One night our boss left a 15-year-old who kisses ass in charge over me and my elder friends. Not only is that wrong and idiotic, it's illegal.
Those are just a few of the reasons why we quit. Well, my boss, who has always treated Jessica (who worked there last year and was asked to come back this year) well, told us we were terrible workers. When I was ready to leave and said, "Well, I think we have been good workers," she said, "No you haven't. You are terrible workers. I would never recommend you for work ever." After I spent half of my summer there when I could've been somewhere else. After I've come in there despite my depression in April and May that almost crippled me from going to school and carrying out my life. After I cleaned and swept and washed more thoroughly than anyone in that damn place. After I've always been given the indication that I was doing a good job. She said she didn't have a problem with Brittany. Evidently Brittany had never wronged her. But Jessica and I were just two evil, irresponsible, terrible teenagers with lip piercings (Jessica) and rolled up pants (me). Ridiculous is all I can say.
That wasn't all. Lorie came out of nowhere and said, "I'm really tired of everyone complaining when they come to work, too." I retorted with, "Lorie, I have come to work despite a lot and have never complained to you." Then she said something like, "Oh, you and you being so sad about your boyfriend." (I never even mentioned this to her. I wouldn't. I have been sad at work but I have never discussed it with her in-depth other than saying I was going through a hard time when she asked one night. I told her about my sister moving and my dad quitting work but I never mentioned anything more.) The fact that she brought it up caught me off guard and confused me. I could tell this was just something she wanted to use to hurt me. "I will tell you this, Erica. The minute you started dating him you turned into a bad worker. Your attitude towards work changed and you changed. For the worse. Ask anyone in this place. Ask your friends Brittany and Jessica. They'll tell you. Everyone talked about you." I became very upset and said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore." And Jessica agreed. And I had to walk out because Lorie kept going on and on and trying to put me down more and more. When I got in the parking lot I just started crying really hard. She did not have to mention personal things. She did not have to tell Jessica and I we were worthless. She did not have to mention him. She was totally out of line and cruel. And I'm glad that I never have to go back and I quit when I did. Jessica was furious and stormed inside and demanded Lorie apologize to me, but her husband told her not to to apologize so she wouldn't "make a scene" (there was no one there... it was an hour after closing time). Then Jessica told me that Lorie said, "I'm not sorry for what I said, anyway."
What the bloody hell is WRONG with people in this world? Do people get enjoyment of making light of your pain? Your struggles? Do they have to fucking exploit it and put it on the fucking line when they are not even involved or affected by the situation? Do they go out of their way to be mean to you when you've never wronged them? Do they just feel so fucking great about themselves by looking at you and going, "You're fucking shit. I think nothing of you." I don't understand. I really don't. If you can see I'm sad, OK. Why the fuck do you want to make me sadder? Haha. I am laughing at this point.
Putting that fucked-up situation aside, I helped Shannon go back to college tonight. She came to town to visit for the weekend and Jessica spent the night last night so we could all be together. We helped her carry stuff to her dorm and we met her roommate who seems very nice. I got home about two hours ago and ate dinner at 10:30. It was interesting sitting down to a family meal at that hour. I miss her already.
I'm really tired now. I think I'm going to sleep. Thank you for all the supportive comments on my last post. It really means a lot.
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are you a student too?