kelland

Sometimes it hurts when you talk but it hurts the most when you say nothing at all. Don't shut me out, cut me off, turn me down. I am still a person and I still have a heart. At the very least I deserve answers. I deserve reasons. I don't deserve this. Please ask me questions and disregard the answers. Corner me in a room and sever my limbs. Kick me in the stomach and spit on my face. Bury me and be satisfied. Sleep through the night peacefully and awaken with a smile. That is all I'll ever ask.

I wish I could report that it's getting better, but it simply is not. While I can walk upright throughout the hallways and mull my around at work, I am a very sad girl deep down inside. And for some reason, I keep getting sick when I try to eat. I don't know why that is. Maybe I have an ulcer... maybe it's something worth looking into. Or maybe I should just go upstairs and drink a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Either one sounds promising.

Welcome home Nevino and his lady. I wish I could leave this place for a little while. Meet some people. See some things. Just get away. Like the Lenny Kravitz song says. Speaking of songs, I did the audio on the high school television announcements today. And I played glassJAw during the opening and closing credits. And since the fucking CD player's pause button wasn't working, the closing credits didn't exactly... sound right. Because I turned the volume up and it was in the middle of a song. And I thought it would be at the beginning. Fuck me.

THE EXPLODING BOY
I couldn't hear a word you said
I couldn't hear at all
You talked until your tongue fell out
And then you talked some more
I knew if I turned
I'd turn away from you
And I couldn't look back...
Tell yourself we'll start again
Tell yourself it's not the end
Tell yourself it couldn't happen
Not this way
Not today
-THE CURE