I don't understand why happy things end. I was happy. I was happy despite all surfaces. Despite all pettiness. Despite secrets. And it ended. And there is so much to say, but it's really not worth explaining to strangers or even non-strangers. An audience of pity is not what I need. Friends are few and far between but sometimes they show up when everyone has left the building to pick up the pieces and drive you back home. I am ever-so grateful for that. I am lost to think where I would be without that.
The past will always come back to invade you. To poison you. To make itself comfortable. If I think about it too much, it sort of makes me crazy. I sometimes cannot believe it.
This has been the hardest day for me in a long time. I don't feel like tears can be produced. And I threw up all over myself two times in such an embarrassing, unexplainable fashion. My body cannot contain my feelings. I am not going to lie to you, my friend.
My dad told me that he heard something on the radio today that said, "God is closest to those with broken hearts." I am going to believe that for tonight and say my prayers and hope that something or someone can take this away and make something beautiful out of it. God cannot let me down. I am going to believe that, at least today.
I am sorry. I am sorry beyond what words can express... and I dream for a better day and a better person in me and and in you. I dream that there is no more anger. I dream that there can be trust. I dream that I am not alone in my faith.
Every three minutes, I don't think I can do this. I don't know what else to say.
My horoscope for the month makes me feel like someone is watching my life.
"The full moon in Leo will arrive one day later, January 22, a time when something dearly important to you will reach culmination. It may pertain to a project, a dearly held wish, or to a relationship. You may feel an urge to share feelings on this day, or you may hear news that you find very important.
If you were born on or within five days of July 24, you will feel the effects of this full moon more powerfully than others you know who are Leo, too.
Romantically, if you are attached, you may need to go back to discuss a problem together, and it will be one you assumed was settled long ago. I say this because Mercury will retrograde in your relationship sector. Apparently, your partner is not feeling good about this issue, so take your partner's perspective seriously. Rather than feel exasperated by your partner's insistence to look at the problem, go along with good spirit, for this time may be the charm. If dating, you may change your mind about someone close, one way or the other.
Do not make any decisions while Mercury is retrograde - explore, talk, investigate, and think. February brings two eclipses, one on February 6 and one on February 20, so wait until those have passed before signing any contracts or agreeing to any new ventures. It is never wise to take a new job with Mercury retrograde, or to do anything else of importance, because the world is in flux. Your priorities will soon change, so sit tight until March."
I suppose that's silly. Maybe. And maybe not.
The past will always come back to invade you. To poison you. To make itself comfortable. If I think about it too much, it sort of makes me crazy. I sometimes cannot believe it.
This has been the hardest day for me in a long time. I don't feel like tears can be produced. And I threw up all over myself two times in such an embarrassing, unexplainable fashion. My body cannot contain my feelings. I am not going to lie to you, my friend.
My dad told me that he heard something on the radio today that said, "God is closest to those with broken hearts." I am going to believe that for tonight and say my prayers and hope that something or someone can take this away and make something beautiful out of it. God cannot let me down. I am going to believe that, at least today.
I am sorry. I am sorry beyond what words can express... and I dream for a better day and a better person in me and and in you. I dream that there is no more anger. I dream that there can be trust. I dream that I am not alone in my faith.
Every three minutes, I don't think I can do this. I don't know what else to say.
My horoscope for the month makes me feel like someone is watching my life.
"The full moon in Leo will arrive one day later, January 22, a time when something dearly important to you will reach culmination. It may pertain to a project, a dearly held wish, or to a relationship. You may feel an urge to share feelings on this day, or you may hear news that you find very important.
If you were born on or within five days of July 24, you will feel the effects of this full moon more powerfully than others you know who are Leo, too.
Romantically, if you are attached, you may need to go back to discuss a problem together, and it will be one you assumed was settled long ago. I say this because Mercury will retrograde in your relationship sector. Apparently, your partner is not feeling good about this issue, so take your partner's perspective seriously. Rather than feel exasperated by your partner's insistence to look at the problem, go along with good spirit, for this time may be the charm. If dating, you may change your mind about someone close, one way or the other.
Do not make any decisions while Mercury is retrograde - explore, talk, investigate, and think. February brings two eclipses, one on February 6 and one on February 20, so wait until those have passed before signing any contracts or agreeing to any new ventures. It is never wise to take a new job with Mercury retrograde, or to do anything else of importance, because the world is in flux. Your priorities will soon change, so sit tight until March."
I suppose that's silly. Maybe. And maybe not.
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
marimagic:
I could relate so much with what you wrotte
itsreciprocal:
Hey, I was checking your profile out because I saw your post in the photography group about deviantart. You have some good pictures there, and you seem like a nice person, so I hope things turn out alright!