kelland

Happy March. This is my bad time of the year.

That's it. Now I'm one notch closer to wanting high school to end. Now. Riiiight now. Go! I don't understand the mentality of whoever said that the high school years are "the best years of your life." Um. Kill me now if that's the honest truth.

"I'm lonely and I'm too tired to talk." - Keane

Remember what I said about re-evaluating friendships? Yep. Still doing it. Last night, I really gave up on a person that has disappointed me for awhile now. I told her that I was done. It is sad, but I feel like I had no other option. I don't trust her. I don't understand her. And I can't possibly be friends with a person that I don't trust or understand. So, I gave up. Giving up isn't a very easy thing to do, incase you didn't already know that.

I have spent a lot more money lately than I care to report. On Saturday, I bought my bridesmaid dress for Tegan's wedding. It was $136. She wasn't going to reimburse me any for that purchase. I even asked her nicely to at least lend me $30. She didn't. That is, until she remembered how incredibly poor I am. She also remembered how she promised me (when she first asked me to be her bridesmaid) that she would help me pay for the dress. So today she wrote me a letter apologizing. The letter contained $60. It's really corny, but when I read it, I cried. I was very happy that she didn't leave me in the cold like that.

"You want to slowly fade away. But you can't. So you stay." - Elefant

My car just got repaired. The front brakes were completely out and apparently there were a few broken cables and a few leaks here and there. Tomorrow I have to pick it up and shell out $134. Fun also.

Today I bought my prom dress/matching shoes. Both are blue. Both are fun. The total for the dress and the shoes was $182. That is incredibly cheap for a prom dress nowadays, especially since I got the shoes to boot (no pun intended). I can't wait to wear it. You're going to have to scroll through prom pictures out the ASS.

I also owe Funi, my Media Communications instructor, over $80 for the DECA competition trip to Columbus this weekend. FUCKING MONEY I DON'T HAVE.

I'll admit that I could've waited on the whole prom dress thing. But it's important to me that I look special this year. Last year I wore a borrowed dress, and while it was nice, it felt very impersonal. If that makes sense.

I am reading Go Ask Alice right now. It's very intriguing. But I've said it once, and I'll say it again: drugs are bad. Don't don't don't don't don't care what you say to contradict that. I understand that being "high" can be fun. It also has the illusion of being harmless in moderation. Everything is fine in moderation, right? So go ahead and drink a bottle of Windex. In moderation. And guzzle down some anti-freeze from time to time. It's poison, in moderation or in excess. If I sat down in front of you with a glass of arsenic and said, "If you drink a tiny tiny little bit of this each day, you'll die a lot sooner than you'd like. It won't be pretty. Because its poison and it will kill you." Would you drink it anyway? Please consider what I'm saying. Drugs destroy. They destroy potential. They destroy your insides and outsides. They destroy the people that love you and care about you. I am destroyed because I want things to be different. Please save your life. Because you've only got one.

I should be doing anatomy homework right now.

I'd rather not dance this song alone. Okay?