Do you know what the worst feeling in the world is?
When you spend an hour typing an almost two-week-long review of your life, and then you accidentally hit the 'back' button on your browser.
And then you try to go back... but it's all gone. Yeah. And then you just want to cry, and you don't even try to type it all out again. So, I will still fill you all in on all the weird shit that's happened to me lately, but in a briefer, less painful fashion. Go!
1. Last Friday, my car got stuck in the snow when I dropped my friend Jessica off from school. Not that exciting, but wait until you get further down the list.
2. Saturday, an old lady in a van backed into my car while I was waiting for a parking spot in a parking lot. Even though it was her fault, she was old and sweet and gave me her insurance information. She just had hand surgery though, which screams "YOU SHOULDN'T BE OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE, DAMNIT."
3. Monday my car got stuck in the snow again, but it was much worse. It happened when I picked Jessica up from school. This time I thought I might avoid getting stuck by driving further down her alley where I thought the snow might not be as shallow and turning around. But the snow was deeper. Realizing this, I attempted to drive backwards, but my car veered off into the ditch and got stuck. It took forever to get it out. Then I was late to school, and because it was my fourth tardy, even though I had a valid excuse (as I've had the past three tardies as well), I got a detention. My first detention as a high school student. I was pissed.
4. Monday night was the employee Christmas party at Baker's, and while it had its highlights, I realized/saw the reason why Miah and I basically ended sorely, friendship-wise and relationship-wise. Not because I was younger or because he didn't want anything serious, as he said. See, he brought a date to this party. My date was supposed to be my friend Damein, but he was out of town. Anyways. Miah's date was all over him. And he? All over her. They were smoking and drinking and kissing and touching all over the fucking place, sitting two feet away from me. This girl, I recognized her. She was the girl that invited herself over the last time I was at Miah's (and we were arguing... remember this?) She came over to his apartment, peeked in the room, saw we were having a conversation, and invited herself in anyway, lighting up a cig and talking to Miah just like I wasn't sitting right there. Then Miah introduced me to her as "the phone girl from Baker's." Not as "Erica." Not as "my friend, Erica." Not as "the girl who won't let me in her pants, Erica." Not as "the person I just invited to hang out with me tonight so I can leave an hour later to go out of town with you, Erica." So come to find out this girl was his high school sweetheart who cheated on him and moved away (this is why he dropped out of high school -- I remember him telling me this months ago), married the guy she was having the affair with, divorced him, came back to Bucyrus, and got back with Miah like a month ago, right around the time, or maybe DURING the time he was seeing me. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE. Man. That was the smack in the face for me. Then today when I found out about all this stuff from another co-worker, how she was the slut that he let ruin his life... then I just didn't feel bad about any of it anymore. Fuck him. I am so much better than that mess of a situation. I only regret that I even had to pursue him. I wish we could've just remained friendly co-workers with no emotional attachment (on my part, of course). That's all I really get upset about. That and the fact that I was naked in front of this person. Yeah. Makes me feel reaaaaal great.
5. Tuesday I served my detention. It wasn't terrible or anything, but slightly awkward. I am the secretary of National Honor Society. I am number one in my class. I have never had a detention in my life, except in 6th grade, and that was for chewing gum. I felt like wearing a sign taped to my chest that read, "I AM SERVING DETENTION BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD ANYTHING BETTER THAN AN UNRELIABLE 20-YEAR-OLD AUTOMOBILE THAT GETS STUCK IN THE SNOW." Or something like that. Just to clarify I didn't beat anyone up or cheat on a test or smoke a doob in the bathroom.
6. Tuesday evening, whilst eating dinner at my grandparents' with my sister, my grandma's dogs got into a fight over some leftovers on the kitchen floor. Heidi attacked Bootsie and ripped his ear up, and blood was gushing everywhere... Bootsie also felt the need to keep shaking his head incessantly, splattering blood everywhere. Shannon and I had to jump up and sop up the blood and call the vet. It was not very much fun.
7. Wednesday night I drove to Tegan's for a gingerbread house party we had planned a few weeks ago. The evening was to include movies and laughter and fun and, among other things, making gingerbread houses. I had a slight headache the entire day because I hadn't really eaten anything substantial, and I have low blood sugar so I tend to feel a bit icky when I skip meals. The headache wasn't that bad, and when I got to Tegan's I ate some popcorn and drank some juice to tide me over until dinner. Later on in the evening, we were making our houses, and everything was fine until I got up to get the phone book to order pizza. When I bent over, I suddenly felt disoriented and very, very, very bad. My head started pounding, so I went in the living room and laid down on the couch. Immediately after lying down, my neck starting burning and pulsating in pain, and I could barely move. Then I started feeling nauseous. I threw up, but not as much as I wanted to because I didn't have anything in my stomach. It was mostly dry heaving, and it was so intense that my entire body ached. Tegan gave me herbal medicine, but I threw it up right away. I was starting to panic, and I felt like I was completely outside of my body. I started crying. A.) I don't get sick, like, ever. B.) As a child (age 5-11), I suffered from chronic migraines and had to take medication, so I know what a bad headache feels like, and this was so much worse than anything I had ever felt before. So eventually, I fell asleep and woke up and felt better the next morning. I had some breakfast and drove home, but not before getting stuck once again! Tegan's boyfriend and dad got the tractor and helped me out of the driveway.
So that's that. Christmas is soon and that's good. I am on Christmas break finally and that's good. Tomorrow, or Friday, I am Christmas shopping for my family and that is good. Tomorrow I get paid and that is good. Next month I have an interview scheduled at OU for my major. Good good good. I need some good in my life right now.
HUGSANDKISSES.
When you spend an hour typing an almost two-week-long review of your life, and then you accidentally hit the 'back' button on your browser.
And then you try to go back... but it's all gone. Yeah. And then you just want to cry, and you don't even try to type it all out again. So, I will still fill you all in on all the weird shit that's happened to me lately, but in a briefer, less painful fashion. Go!
1. Last Friday, my car got stuck in the snow when I dropped my friend Jessica off from school. Not that exciting, but wait until you get further down the list.
2. Saturday, an old lady in a van backed into my car while I was waiting for a parking spot in a parking lot. Even though it was her fault, she was old and sweet and gave me her insurance information. She just had hand surgery though, which screams "YOU SHOULDN'T BE OPERATING A MOTOR VEHICLE, DAMNIT."
3. Monday my car got stuck in the snow again, but it was much worse. It happened when I picked Jessica up from school. This time I thought I might avoid getting stuck by driving further down her alley where I thought the snow might not be as shallow and turning around. But the snow was deeper. Realizing this, I attempted to drive backwards, but my car veered off into the ditch and got stuck. It took forever to get it out. Then I was late to school, and because it was my fourth tardy, even though I had a valid excuse (as I've had the past three tardies as well), I got a detention. My first detention as a high school student. I was pissed.
4. Monday night was the employee Christmas party at Baker's, and while it had its highlights, I realized/saw the reason why Miah and I basically ended sorely, friendship-wise and relationship-wise. Not because I was younger or because he didn't want anything serious, as he said. See, he brought a date to this party. My date was supposed to be my friend Damein, but he was out of town. Anyways. Miah's date was all over him. And he? All over her. They were smoking and drinking and kissing and touching all over the fucking place, sitting two feet away from me. This girl, I recognized her. She was the girl that invited herself over the last time I was at Miah's (and we were arguing... remember this?) She came over to his apartment, peeked in the room, saw we were having a conversation, and invited herself in anyway, lighting up a cig and talking to Miah just like I wasn't sitting right there. Then Miah introduced me to her as "the phone girl from Baker's." Not as "Erica." Not as "my friend, Erica." Not as "the girl who won't let me in her pants, Erica." Not as "the person I just invited to hang out with me tonight so I can leave an hour later to go out of town with you, Erica." So come to find out this girl was his high school sweetheart who cheated on him and moved away (this is why he dropped out of high school -- I remember him telling me this months ago), married the guy she was having the affair with, divorced him, came back to Bucyrus, and got back with Miah like a month ago, right around the time, or maybe DURING the time he was seeing me. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE. Man. That was the smack in the face for me. Then today when I found out about all this stuff from another co-worker, how she was the slut that he let ruin his life... then I just didn't feel bad about any of it anymore. Fuck him. I am so much better than that mess of a situation. I only regret that I even had to pursue him. I wish we could've just remained friendly co-workers with no emotional attachment (on my part, of course). That's all I really get upset about. That and the fact that I was naked in front of this person. Yeah. Makes me feel reaaaaal great.
5. Tuesday I served my detention. It wasn't terrible or anything, but slightly awkward. I am the secretary of National Honor Society. I am number one in my class. I have never had a detention in my life, except in 6th grade, and that was for chewing gum. I felt like wearing a sign taped to my chest that read, "I AM SERVING DETENTION BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD ANYTHING BETTER THAN AN UNRELIABLE 20-YEAR-OLD AUTOMOBILE THAT GETS STUCK IN THE SNOW." Or something like that. Just to clarify I didn't beat anyone up or cheat on a test or smoke a doob in the bathroom.
6. Tuesday evening, whilst eating dinner at my grandparents' with my sister, my grandma's dogs got into a fight over some leftovers on the kitchen floor. Heidi attacked Bootsie and ripped his ear up, and blood was gushing everywhere... Bootsie also felt the need to keep shaking his head incessantly, splattering blood everywhere. Shannon and I had to jump up and sop up the blood and call the vet. It was not very much fun.
7. Wednesday night I drove to Tegan's for a gingerbread house party we had planned a few weeks ago. The evening was to include movies and laughter and fun and, among other things, making gingerbread houses. I had a slight headache the entire day because I hadn't really eaten anything substantial, and I have low blood sugar so I tend to feel a bit icky when I skip meals. The headache wasn't that bad, and when I got to Tegan's I ate some popcorn and drank some juice to tide me over until dinner. Later on in the evening, we were making our houses, and everything was fine until I got up to get the phone book to order pizza. When I bent over, I suddenly felt disoriented and very, very, very bad. My head started pounding, so I went in the living room and laid down on the couch. Immediately after lying down, my neck starting burning and pulsating in pain, and I could barely move. Then I started feeling nauseous. I threw up, but not as much as I wanted to because I didn't have anything in my stomach. It was mostly dry heaving, and it was so intense that my entire body ached. Tegan gave me herbal medicine, but I threw it up right away. I was starting to panic, and I felt like I was completely outside of my body. I started crying. A.) I don't get sick, like, ever. B.) As a child (age 5-11), I suffered from chronic migraines and had to take medication, so I know what a bad headache feels like, and this was so much worse than anything I had ever felt before. So eventually, I fell asleep and woke up and felt better the next morning. I had some breakfast and drove home, but not before getting stuck once again! Tegan's boyfriend and dad got the tractor and helped me out of the driveway.
So that's that. Christmas is soon and that's good. I am on Christmas break finally and that's good. Tomorrow, or Friday, I am Christmas shopping for my family and that is good. Tomorrow I get paid and that is good. Next month I have an interview scheduled at OU for my major. Good good good. I need some good in my life right now.
HUGSANDKISSES.
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
judas:
merry christmas, darlin' sweet angel faced girl.
hellah:
can't even begin to tell you how many times ive written the best entries and then the server likes to poop on my floor...and in turn i do the same thing to release my hatred for the damn computer!!