kelland

[A is for age:] - 18 and older
[B is for booze of choice:] - I don't drink... ever
[C is for career:] - hopeful photographer and likely writer
[D is for your dad's name:] - Lon
[E is for essential items to bring to a party:] - pizza, pajamas, car keys, a movie of good taste, digital camera
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] - "Blame It On Bad Luck" by Bayside
[G is for favorite game:] - Candyland
[H is for hometown:] - Bucyrus
[I is for instruments you play:] - spoons
[J is for jam or jelly you like:] - apple butter
[K is for kids?] - I hate them all
[L is for last kiss:] - October 31st, 2005
[M is for mom's name:] - Allison Sue
[N is for name of your crush:] - Jeremiah Obe--pleaseshootme
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] - one, but I was keeping my sister company
[P is for phobias:] - parking garages, cardboard boxes scraping together, drugs
[Q is for quotes you like:] - at the moment: "Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else, and it hasn't, it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such." - Homer Simpson
[R is for relationship that meant the most:] - every and all
[S is for snacks you like:] - pasta, honey wheat pretzels, cold pizza, cereal, egg salad sandwiches, Chex Mix, frozen waffles, chocolate, green tea
[T is for time you wake up:] - 6:05 in the morning
[U is for underwear:] - black and white paisely hipsters
[V is for vegetable you love:] - broccoli, baby spinach, fresh mushrooms, red peppers
[W is for weekend plans:] - volunteering at some thing for National Honor Society and trying on bridesmaid dresses for Tegan's wedding
[X is for x-rays you've had:] - teeth and heart
[Y is for yummy food you make:] - granola chocolate chunk cookies
[Z is for zodiac sign:] - Leo with Cancer-like tendencies

Eating more rotini. That is all I ever really eat. And my head hurts. Again. I have been taking way too many painkillers lately. I have been getting a headache almost everyday now. I think my neck it out of whack. I need a chiropractor. I need to get more sleep. I think I need a new heart.

So this is my week off. Yesterday I did homework, left a shitload of comments on here, and managed to eat dinner with my grandparents and dad for a change. It was nice. It felt like my life again. I've eaten dinner with them (my mom works during the evenings) for the past twelve years of my life... that is, until this year, when I work all of the time during dinnertime and eat whatever Baker's product I can afford on a nightly basis. I went almost an entire month without even seeing either of my grandparents. That is heartbreaking to admit. I hate always feeling like I am so separate from my surroundings.

Today I have to go out into the blustery coldness to finish taping footage for a fifteen minute TV program I am doing (with a group) for media class. Actually, the group consists of a girl named Andi and myself. The rest of the group members have not done shit. And I prefer it that way, actually. At least I know things will get done if I do them myself.

My friend's newly-formed band is playing at my place of employment on the 10th of December, and I am bummed because of all the nights, I won't be in town on that one. I am seeing U2 in Cleveland on that day. Any other Saturday I would be hoisted at Baker's for five, six, seven hours at a time. Normally it would be the most opportune thing. Bah humbug. I feel like a crappy friend/band supporter.

I wonder wonder wonder if Miah will ever "be in touch" with me this week. He said that he would as I left last Friday. I didn't ask him to. I only told him, as he attempted to hug me goodbye, that it would be the last night I would work with him for awhile. "That's what I heard from Breck," he said. "Well, I'll be in touch... if that's okay," he said as I walked out the door. Right. He hasn't given me much of his time in the two weeks we've worked together since our argument. I doubt he'll make any effort to talk to me when I'm not even physically around. Who am I fooling?

I spent some quality time with an old friend last Friday. It made me realize that I am impractical and stubborn and bitter and frantic and stupid at times. When we separated, I freaked out and persisted. And then when I didn't get the response I wanted, I wrote him off, and never thought to talk to him again. I never thought I would miss him or recognize why I wanted to get to know him and be apart of his life in the first place. But on Friday, I realized that I did miss him. I realized what made him an interesting, funny, pleasant person to be around. I felt, for the first time, that I'd actually made a very big mistake by always trying so fucking hard.

I'm tired now. To bed I go.