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keith

Member Since 2002

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Sunday Aug 14, 2005

Aug 14, 2005
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From "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex":

Superman has been known to leave his fingerprints in steel and in hardened concrete, accidentally. What would he do to the woman in his arms during what amounts to an epileptic fit?

III

Consider the driving urge between a man and a woman, the monomaniacal urge to achieve greater and greater penetration. Remember also that we are dealing with kryptonian muscles.

Superman would literally crush LL's body in his arms, while simultaneously ripping her open from crotch to sternum, gutting her like a trout.

IV

Lastly, he'd blow off the top of her head.

Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian. But with kryptonian muscles behind it, Kal-El's semen would emerge with the muzzle velocity of a machine gun bullet. (*One can imagine that the Kent home in Smallville was riddled with holes during Superboy's puberty. And why did Lana Lang never notice that?*)



VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
mandy:
how can i access that horse link??? its not working for me frown
i know im gonna go puke but im sooooooooooooooooo damn curious biggrin
Aug 17, 2005
invisibleguy:
This whole thing has been dealt with by Kevin Smith dude!

T.S.: But theyre engaged.
Brodie: Doesnt matter, cant happen.
T.S.: Why not? Its bound to come up.
Brodie: Its impossible, Lois could never have Supermans baby. Do you think her fallopian tubes could handle the sperm? I guarantee you he blows a load like a shotgun right through her back. What about her womb? Do you think its strong enough to carry her child?
T.S.: Sure, why not?
Brodie: Hes an alien, for christ sake. His Kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by earths yellow sun. If Lois gets a tan the kid could kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman has a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he could bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. That would kill him!
- Mallrats info

EL SUICIDO LOCO
Aug 17, 2005

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