kayla_

i have SO much to say
but im gonna keep this short
just a little update

i'm here!
and i'm hpapy
but im missing nathan so badly

i'm gonna try and call him again soon.
but i miss him ....lots

trains suck

i have like 12 pages of wrtiten journal to update. but imj using claires laptop right now and i dont feel like using...
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yea, the boys a timebomb

Yea I'm updating again. I'm just THAT cool.

I shot a set last night.
I was thinking about posting it....somewhere but I dunno. Maybe I'll just post a few of my favorite shots.
It'll be nice to have someone photograph me when I get to California.
Maybe then I'll do a set that I'll actually submit.

I talked to Nathan a lot last night on...
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Breathe in for luck breathe in so deep this air is blessed you share with me this
night is wild so calm and dull these hearts they race
from self control your legs are smooth
as they graze mine we're doing fine we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me, so I...
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I'm updating my journalb ecause i'm not sad anymore.
I'm actually super happy

Mistereel is my favoritest person in or-uh-gone (hahahah....)
i will visit him and make him cawfeeeeee

hrm



anyway
i'm trying to make it to portland for halloween
i dont think this is going to happen
and that makes me sad sorta
but ....i'm gonna try forrreeallllll!!


everyone else, you're pretty cool too...
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She said she needed to be loved
Slowly
I needed her to repeat herself anyway
She said Thats not what i mean
But how would she know
She compared me to a goddess
I thanked her outloud
people look at me funny when i talk to myself
She says
I don't know what you're talking about
But i'll pretend that i do
just this last...
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All we're waiting for is something worth waiting for


So, if you didn't get to read my last journal entry.
I got an apartmnet.
Yes, for real.
I bought my fucking ticket even.
133 for a train ticket from Newark to Davis.
490 a month for rent
my first month is only 245 since i'll only be there half of the month.
400 dollar deposit....
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All we want is a headrush
All we want is to get out of our skin for a while
We have nothing to lose because we don't have anything
Anything we want anyway...
We used to hate people
Now we just make fun of them
It's more effective that way
We don't live
We just scratch on day to day
With nothing but matchbooks and...
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stuff...sucks....so....bad....right....now

i havent cried like this in such a long time.
SUCH a long time

i have no clue where im going to be living ina month.
i NEED to get out of new jersey. i hate it here. i need to be around people that give a shit.

things are so fucked.
i have no one to talk to.
and as much as some...
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well
today was good
nathan got my letter. this makes me fucking ecstatic. he also got other stuff from me. but yeah.

and and and
then me and my dad went to this really nice japenese restaurant. wanna know how jersey low class i am? sure you do.
we got tea before our meal and i was fucking floored because it had tea leaves in...
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YAY!

i'm going to explore the cemetary again
at night this time
woo woo woo woo!
i hope i dont get caught i think i could get in trouble now :\
hrm.
anyway here is the pics from yesterday afternoon
www.davers.org/ftp/kayla/graveyard

Nathan said the "ugly" picture is cute.
He's my sweetheart.
Only a few more weeks and i can finally give him all the hugs...
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1) Last dream: i moved to switzerland with some chick. she was hot but wouldn't let me do her >:| i wound up having sex with some random guy on a train.
weird.
2) Last car ride: yesterday night back from dinner
3) Last kiss: real kiss? blah like 2 months.
4) Last good cry: hmm.. its been a few weeks.
5) Last Missing Library...
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