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katneko

Miami

Member Since 2003

Followers 34 Following 36

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Tuesday Jul 20, 2004

Jul 20, 2004
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My first college class. My first college paper. And I was one of two people in my class to get an A+.

I was really bursting at the seams when I got my paper back. When the professor handed it to me, he said, This was a really sexy paper, and smiled. Thats a crazy thing for a teacher to say about a politically themed paper. =P Then I saw the A+ on it, and had to stop myself from crying. This was just so fucking amazing. I don't think I've gotton a single A+ on anything in high school, and I was extremely high (in the "on life" sense) for the entire fucking class. And the prof was kinda shocked that I had written this A+ paper, too. You should see me in class...I'm quiet. And when I do actually say something, it just sounds so fucking retarded. It comes out all wrong. I've always been able to communicate better in the written, but it's way worse when you're unsure of yourself sitting in a class with people who seem to be really confident -- much moreso than you can even hope to front. I don't know. I really earned that grade, though. Even when I was at Andria's place, I kept looking over this paper and jotting down some more ideas.

He even wrote on the paper that he wanted a copy. "At my convinience", even.

I didn't even think it was 'the answer he wanted'.

This changes everything. For one, I need to stop feeling sorry for myself about the holes in my education. Those holes can be filled in, and I've proved that to myself now. Two, I'm going to participate in class discussions more. Well, maybe. It'd be good for me to get over this lack of confidence so far as public speaking goes, and if I fuck up or say something stupid, I need to learn from it. And thirdly, my past doesn't matter anymore. I guess this ties in a bit with #1, but I'm not the stupid street kid anymore, and I'm going to stop treating myself as such immediatly. I'm someone that many people respect. And it's about time I gave myself that same respect. Every assignment for as long as I'm in school, will be completed to the best of my ability.

Today, I proved to myself that it's possible to live your dreams. This is a very signifigant day.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
trocc:
sweet. all this is great to hear - congrats, you, and i hope it keeps going well... smile
Jul 20, 2004
wren:
Hooray hooray hooray!

I took East Asian Civ last semester and was REALLY panicked because my teacher used to work for the State department. So he has actually BEEN to the places we were learning about. I wrote a research paper on geisha and got a 95! I almost peed my pants.
Jul 20, 2004

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