So today has been a blah day.. it's one of those days I just pray for someone to call and say "hey lets go do something" and it never happens.. you know you want to run and hide..and just be away until everyone has gone to bed..so you don't have to see anyone.
My dads been on a war path.. NOT IN A GOOD MOOD at all! I've tried to be funny, and talk to him..but quickly stopped talking to him cause I knew the more I tried the more I'd get hurt..and the best thing to do is just shut my mouth..and say nothing at all. I really hate it when he gets this way! I figured after the third time he made me cry today..the best thing to do would be to shut my mouth and not talk to him. Then my mom comes home with a bad report from my grandma's..and that just made things 100x worse.. eventually I laid on the couch and pretended to be asleep until he went to bed.. I figured it was for the best. Then my mom let me know that my brother and sister-n-law had a b-day party for my nephew today. I was like what?? They only invited her family.. and not ours at this time my brother isn't talking to my dad..and he didn't want my dad there..but didn't really want to hurt him too, understandable.. but he could have invited me..and not them.. it's not like I had to tell my dad where I was going? I feel like I'm being punished for something I had nothing to do with.. and really it just broke my heart cause I love that kid..and I want to be a part of his life..but at this point.. I feel like well that's just not happening.. and believe you me.. I could have used sometime away from the house today.. just to get out and away for at least a little while.. sure I could have just left..but I don't really like going out alone..and really just needed someone to talk to..and well.. Didn't get that. Ugh..I'm very depressing aren't I??
Idk? My brother and I talked awhile back..and the one thing that was made clear was that we had each others backs..no matter what.. and we wouldn't let what has happened come between us, and distance us.. and I feel like today..he's done just that.. cause he punished me for something I have, and had NO control over something that happened over 27 years ago (hell I wasn't even born yet)
Sorry for this sad depressing boring journal.. it actaully feels really good just getting it out..and talking about it.. even though it doesn't really make a change.. I have it out now!
My dads been on a war path.. NOT IN A GOOD MOOD at all! I've tried to be funny, and talk to him..but quickly stopped talking to him cause I knew the more I tried the more I'd get hurt..and the best thing to do is just shut my mouth..and say nothing at all. I really hate it when he gets this way! I figured after the third time he made me cry today..the best thing to do would be to shut my mouth and not talk to him. Then my mom comes home with a bad report from my grandma's..and that just made things 100x worse.. eventually I laid on the couch and pretended to be asleep until he went to bed.. I figured it was for the best. Then my mom let me know that my brother and sister-n-law had a b-day party for my nephew today. I was like what?? They only invited her family.. and not ours at this time my brother isn't talking to my dad..and he didn't want my dad there..but didn't really want to hurt him too, understandable.. but he could have invited me..and not them.. it's not like I had to tell my dad where I was going? I feel like I'm being punished for something I had nothing to do with.. and really it just broke my heart cause I love that kid..and I want to be a part of his life..but at this point.. I feel like well that's just not happening.. and believe you me.. I could have used sometime away from the house today.. just to get out and away for at least a little while.. sure I could have just left..but I don't really like going out alone..and really just needed someone to talk to..and well.. Didn't get that. Ugh..I'm very depressing aren't I??
Idk? My brother and I talked awhile back..and the one thing that was made clear was that we had each others backs..no matter what.. and we wouldn't let what has happened come between us, and distance us.. and I feel like today..he's done just that.. cause he punished me for something I have, and had NO control over something that happened over 27 years ago (hell I wasn't even born yet)
Sorry for this sad depressing boring journal.. it actaully feels really good just getting it out..and talking about it.. even though it doesn't really make a change.. I have it out now!
lone_figure:
sometimes opening up and "blowing steam" helps out. It is a heck of a lot better than trapping it inside - and letting it fester inside you until it starts to hurt you physically.
candykydfairy:
sorry to hear about your day babe...it sounds like my stepdad gets the same way as your dad sometimes...which is why i'm ever sooo glad i left sometimes...i hope things get better...and i very well may see you soon too 
