katia

hello everybody !
life is better, life is beautifull.
thank you everybody for your care love and support . i really appreciate it.
now when i came clean with my " not-my-boyfriend ", i can tell you, why i was so upset, and hating life.
ok, about couple months ago my " not-my-boyfriend " give me some money to hold on to for him, because he has a drinking problem, and he didn't want to spent them all on alcohol. i said: " ok. i will take them to my grandma, and they will be save there. " which i did. and when he needed the money he would just tell me and i would bring them to him. but last week he said, that its time to pay the rent, so i should go get the rest of them. whach i did.
but on my way back from my grandma to his house i disided to stop by the "mathador", and double the money playing, what?........................A VIDEO POCKER.
YES I AM THAT STUPID .
so of course i ended up losing ALL the money, that HE had . and i didn't have any idea how i was going to tell him about it.
while i was in the process of losing my " not-my-boyfriends " money,:shocked: i've run in to old friend of mine. and when i've last all the money and fell into a suicidal stage of mind, my friend notest that and asked me what happend. so, i've told him, what the deal was.., he got little shocked for a second , but then desided to help me, and said that he has to go home make a couple phone calls. i've said that i will wait for him there, because i was on the midle of losing last $20.00 .
i've last it very quick. and i waited, and waited, and waited............. but he wasn't coming back . so i've thought to my self: " fuck it. seating here is not going to help me, so i just going to go drive around and think, what can i do. "
so, i wallked outside. but because i knew that my friend wouldn't just leave, and not come back i stoped on the couner of the street. to smoke a cigarette, and wait some longer.
so, i am staing there all messed up , stressed the hell out, thinking what the hell am i going to do, and how the hell my " not-my-boyfriend " going to pay his rent. i mean i was totally ruined. i've started drooling, my left eye started to twitch.
next thing i know somebody honking behind me. i slowlly turn around, and who the hell do i see? .............................my " not-my-boyfrien " . i've tried to put the most precious on my face. i've tried too . but i guess i wasn't really good at it, because now he is starting to freak out: " what the hell are you doing here? you've said, you was going home! what a fuck is wrong with you, standing on the Brunside couner! are you trying to score drugs? what kind of drugs you are on? why are you acting like a freak? are you cheating on me? who the hell are you fucking? " and all this boolshit, on, and on, and on..................... and what the hell can i say? NOTHING. so i've just started to mambel something, when i see my friend coming down on the street. so i go: " here is my friend. i am just waiting for my friend ".
he seam to chill out for a second. so i told my friend, that this is the "GUY". my friend go: " what are you going to do ? " i go: " well, i guess i'll just tell him the truth ". (because my friend told me, that he couldn't find anybody with money, at this time). my friend: " no. don't tell him yet. you still have some time till the rent due. i'll help you." i go: " ok. thank you. "
i've lasted till the next morning and then i broke down in a crocodile tears, over the phone, telling my
" not-my-boyfriend " to check his e-mail, where i've told him, what really happend ....................
...................that was hard. but its over. he forgive me and now we are saving money to pay his rent . and its no fun....................
oh, yeah by the way.............................did i've mentioned, that it was three months rent, worth with a money


and to all of you.