katfireblade

You're building a Wall
of confusion and lies
Nobody can hear your silent cries
But when you sleep
You dream of me
And I kiss you in your Dreams

Soul of Ice
BlutEngel

I dont know why I'm always drawn to lyrics like these. They haunt me, calling to some secret piece of me, and have since I can remember. They draw me, seducing me into sensual oblivion, with their siren's call to someone who's just not there. See, I know all the reasons this could be affecting me. It could be I see myself here, and in a way I do, love for me is the hardest of all the emotions, and the one I'm most likely to run from. But I dont hear an echo of the familier when I listen to these songs, its not sympathy for my own plight that stirs within me. It could be simply the romance of it all, unrequited love and all that, and I have to admit despite my best efforts to squash her, my closet romantic comes to the surface again and again, defying my pragmaticism with great and malicious glee. That draw is stronger, the draw of legend and tale, and perhaps it is just a story told in my heart.

But when I sit still and close my eyes, some still, small part of me vibrates like a tightly tuned string, and I see arms, can almost smell his scent on the air, and I know without knowing how that he really is out there somewhere, and that all I need to do is brush against him again to awaken him, turn him around. Out there somewhere is a man from this life or another who has been touched by me, and it seems my quest is to find him, somehow find him, a needle in this heaping haystack of humanity. My insides thrum with the knowing and I am content.

Its all nonsense, of course, every word, every feeling. Still, its good to know there is music out there so powerful it makes me dance to its tune. Magical. Wonderful. I love that feeling.