katesmash

As usual, I have let my heart cloud my eyes and my brain to make me see what I wanted to see. Well... I suck balls apparently and I led myself into another one of my delusions believing that this guy (that I liked), actually liked me too. Well... untrue. So I found out. I mean, I did fuck things up. Pretty badly too. But... everyone deserves a second chance right?

I just wish I had done everything differently.

But... maybe... I'm not the only one who thinks that Ive been led on.

1. Cooks dinner (specially because I'm there) for the whole house.
2. Compliments me on things that people who weren't interested wouldn't comment on... (besides my coat)
3. Apparently listens to what I say and bought me a present for Christmas involving something I said. (I mean... what boy who doesn't like you listens to you? Right?)
4. Invites me to a New Years Eve Party because he wants my company.

I mean... Maybe I'm seeing the things I wish a gentleman would do. I feel like a total fucking guy. Like... he's the girl whos just trying to be nice and I'm the guy thinking "Oh my god. She totally wants to bang me."

I would really, really appreciate it if someone told me one way or the other. After some of the stuff he said last night, I honestly am really upset. Some of it... the most fucking moronic stuff I've ever heard in my entire life!!!!!!!!
If you're interested in knowing the details, let me know, and I'll give you the full scoop.

And you know what. My friend Pat said that he was a douche. My response was... and you know what... I'm a douche for the fact that I would take him back in a heartbeat.

Ive got that pathetic sickness disease that accompanies mind induced nausea. And I can't shake it. Even after watching three horror movies, hanging with my girl, eating pizza, and having Harps and cookie dough... I'm still uncured. This totally sucks.

Someone please make me feel better?