I think I've had an eating disorder since I was about twelve years old.
I lost 50 pounds when I was twelve, was a walking skeleton until I was fourteen, went back up to 135, and struggled between 135 and 140 for awhile.
If my weight ever went above 140 I'd OD on laxatives, cry, smash my head on walls and basicly have a mild breakdown.
When Zach and I broke up, I starved myself for months and lost 20 pounds. When I went away I gained 5 of them back, and tonight I'm 129...
I feel like the weight I gained back is Zach's way of winning, and I just took 12 laxatives and I'm going to pound the shit out of myself at the gym tommrow.
If I don't post again it's because seven years of starvation, binging, over-excersizing, ODing on every diet pill and laxative there is finally caught up to me.
In lighter news, I talked to Jenn about letting me serve and she said yes, she just has to talk to Al.
(This is very good news by the way. )
I lost 50 pounds when I was twelve, was a walking skeleton until I was fourteen, went back up to 135, and struggled between 135 and 140 for awhile.
If my weight ever went above 140 I'd OD on laxatives, cry, smash my head on walls and basicly have a mild breakdown.
When Zach and I broke up, I starved myself for months and lost 20 pounds. When I went away I gained 5 of them back, and tonight I'm 129...
I feel like the weight I gained back is Zach's way of winning, and I just took 12 laxatives and I'm going to pound the shit out of myself at the gym tommrow.
If I don't post again it's because seven years of starvation, binging, over-excersizing, ODing on every diet pill and laxative there is finally caught up to me.
In lighter news, I talked to Jenn about letting me serve and she said yes, she just has to talk to Al.
(This is very good news by the way. )
susannahjoy:
*hugs*