katastrofei

In other news, two earthquakes shook the island empire of Japan today.

The quakes, which struck shortly after 7pm (11am BST) and 12am (3 pm
BST) , had preliminary magnitudes of 6.8 and 6.9 respectively, and
were centered six miles beneath the ocean floor and 70 miles off the
coast of the Kii peninsula.

The shockwaves were felt most strongly in the cities of Nara and
Wakayama on the Kii peninsula, which lies about 280 miles west of
Tokyo.

Though the epicenter was far off the Echizen coast, here in Fukui
citizens felt it as floors slipped out from beneath them and watched
as furniture trembled violently before toppling. No serious damage has
been reported, but the feeling of riding ocean swells while on dry
land disoriented one [katastrofei], a slightly odd and mischievious
English teacher hailing from Texas, America.

"Thems was the shinzee, fo' sheezy mah neezy."

Local linguists report that they have no idea what [katastrofei] is talking about.