Um, Hi.
I used to use one of those free online diaries back in the day to write letters back and forth to my least and worst favorite ex, but after that it was still good for venting and all that jazz. Talking to people. An embarrassing rendevous in Ohio, you know the usual drill.
I'm really fat at heart, I dont know why I havent ballooned yet. Give me time. I assume its being stolen by leprechauns in my sleep to be force fed into that freakin sellout Lucky so he's fat and cant get a job anymore.
But you know what happens when you assume things.
You get punched in the liver by a guy named Pedro. Pedro has nothing against you, or people assuming things, Pedro just HATES livers. He lost his in a drinking contest. That's what happens when you put it ALL on the line Pedro.
Pedro leaves and you feel warm breathing on the back of your neck. Oh hi it's me again. I do creepy things like that and leave horrifying messages for people. It's kinda a fun thing to do to my friends. "Not Cool" you say? No, it shouldn't be, with my regular body temperature of 98.6 degrees this air expending from my lungs is MUCH warmer than when it....
You leave me rambling to go parking lot sledding in the spring.
What can you say, you're an extreme sports fan.
ESPN 8: The Ocho is there with a large crew and the paramedics leaving with the parking lot bobsled team from over in Canada. While oiling up your No-Sno 2k5 beeeaut, you remember this has verrrry little to do with the consequences for assuming, so you should be fine. YOU ASSUME.
You get out of traction weeks later, but you aren't sure if it was the driver of that sundance or your fault for the unfortunate failed PotHole GippaH that went miserably wrong. You hear that one of your many fans is keeping your pinky as a token of love and wants you to sign it later if you could. Hugs and kisses bitch, hugs and kisses.
You dont have time for that no... cuz theres Pedro in the bathtub full of ice next to you. Just get an Operation Pedro? "Si," Pedro replies through what can only be described as gleeful agony. What'd you have surgery for Pedro? Pedro points to a scar running across his abdomen. "Pedro's New Liver" he laughs. Oh, good old Pedro, finally got enough money to get back into that black market and find himself a babboons liver or something. Good for Pedro you think, then you notice, of all the things hurting, you're left kidney feels strangely absent.
Pedro then tells you thank you for his new liver, and that to celebrate, you must go drinking with him later.
Poor Pedro, you think as you agree to his request, that's what you get when I assume things.
When you Assume things, Pedro Dies.
I used to use one of those free online diaries back in the day to write letters back and forth to my least and worst favorite ex, but after that it was still good for venting and all that jazz. Talking to people. An embarrassing rendevous in Ohio, you know the usual drill.
I'm really fat at heart, I dont know why I havent ballooned yet. Give me time. I assume its being stolen by leprechauns in my sleep to be force fed into that freakin sellout Lucky so he's fat and cant get a job anymore.
But you know what happens when you assume things.
You get punched in the liver by a guy named Pedro. Pedro has nothing against you, or people assuming things, Pedro just HATES livers. He lost his in a drinking contest. That's what happens when you put it ALL on the line Pedro.
Pedro leaves and you feel warm breathing on the back of your neck. Oh hi it's me again. I do creepy things like that and leave horrifying messages for people. It's kinda a fun thing to do to my friends. "Not Cool" you say? No, it shouldn't be, with my regular body temperature of 98.6 degrees this air expending from my lungs is MUCH warmer than when it....
You leave me rambling to go parking lot sledding in the spring.
What can you say, you're an extreme sports fan.
ESPN 8: The Ocho is there with a large crew and the paramedics leaving with the parking lot bobsled team from over in Canada. While oiling up your No-Sno 2k5 beeeaut, you remember this has verrrry little to do with the consequences for assuming, so you should be fine. YOU ASSUME.
You get out of traction weeks later, but you aren't sure if it was the driver of that sundance or your fault for the unfortunate failed PotHole GippaH that went miserably wrong. You hear that one of your many fans is keeping your pinky as a token of love and wants you to sign it later if you could. Hugs and kisses bitch, hugs and kisses.
You dont have time for that no... cuz theres Pedro in the bathtub full of ice next to you. Just get an Operation Pedro? "Si," Pedro replies through what can only be described as gleeful agony. What'd you have surgery for Pedro? Pedro points to a scar running across his abdomen. "Pedro's New Liver" he laughs. Oh, good old Pedro, finally got enough money to get back into that black market and find himself a babboons liver or something. Good for Pedro you think, then you notice, of all the things hurting, you're left kidney feels strangely absent.
Pedro then tells you thank you for his new liver, and that to celebrate, you must go drinking with him later.
Poor Pedro, you think as you agree to his request, that's what you get when I assume things.
When you Assume things, Pedro Dies.