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kashshaptu

Santa Monica, CA

Member Since 2005

Followers 31 Following 55

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Thursday Mar 31, 2005

Mar 31, 2005
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Unending Cries

So now here I am. All alone, and yet that noise is still here. That crying, whimpering noise.
The sound of a Child crying for his mother. It tortures me so. His constant demanding cries, "Feed me, look at me, love me," all day all night. Never satisfied.
The infants name is Marduk, My aborted son, who waits for me in Hell. His life ended before it began, and yet I still hear his cries. "Mommy, why won't you look at me? Smile at me? "
At night whenever I sleep, I dream of him. Those eerie little eyes, Black as coal, Gazing at me, as if he can see inside me. "I love you Mommy, you will suffer for what you've done" He says without even saying a word.
Now I am pregnant again, but this time her life will be that, A life. This upsets him. "What makes her so special? Wasn't I innocent, beautiful enough? Wouldn't I have made you happy, if given the chance?"
I cannot go anywhere, I cannot even dream, without that horrible little creature there. That undeveloped, disfigured, blubbering, whimpering, little Demon. Constantly crying, bitching, filling my head with such distorted images."In the dumpster my body goes, cold and alone. Ever since I was scraped from your womb, There's been no mother here to warm me, but I love you still Mommy. They will be coming for you soon...And we will be together again."
Though I have no regret..
I am forever haunted by the crying of my son.
The screams of a dead child who wanted to live..

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