kashshaptu

Now it is done. I saw her face in that mirror. The spirits tried to show me, they showed me in dreams, they whispered in my ear. But i ignored them. I loved you. I believed our love was stronger than lust. But ours was not love it seems. You were my confindant, my friend. I know you felt it too.. For as soon as you saw her pale face your eyes began to wander. She is everything in your eyes. She is beauty, she is spirit. I am but a monster. Gentle and eccentric, but still just a monster compared to her innocence.You love my body when the moon rises. You love her, but continued to lie in my bed every night because you could not have your precious doll. Now she has given herself to you, you no longer need me, i realize i was nothing more than a Cortesan of sexual Fantasy. Those Sordid acts we comitted pleased you so. Not just one night but many..Yet still, that was not love. Because I was not her, i could not be her. No matter how i tried.

I saw how this would be. I knew she would have you. I have grown to accept it. And yet i still feel the cold stab of jealousy. Not because i still desire you, but because it's quiet now...And i realize i am alone....Once again..