Ah, Humanity, once again you astound me with your capacity for petty, ugly things...

To the person who stole my car out of my driveway: Look, keep the car, I dont care. Keep the stereo even. But at least give me back my sneakers, sleeping bag and cds. You probably think my taste in music is crap anyway, right?

i do have to thank you, tho, o anonymous transportation thief. You gave me a day off of work while I dealt with the police who seem more interested in making sure the paperwork is in order than in actually catching you. So i get to relax and answer questions from this charming officer, asking me if my car has been smogged. For such a lovely experience, i thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I'm not really mad about the car being stolen, i mean, who doesn't want a broke down 2 dr civic with a busted window? I'm assured that they are the height of style, I hope that it brings you as much luck with the ladies as it has brought me. Oh, and the inconvenience of having to find a way to get to work, so i can get the money to pay my rent and maybe buy a new car (which, sorry, Mr. Thief, will be alarmed and have fully operating door locks) don't worry about it, its not like they can fire me for not getting to work on time becaus ei ahd to take the bvus or something.

So in short, Mr Thief, with all of the really nice cars that are in my neighborhood, i am honored that you chose mine. I hope you fucking crash and die.