Went clubbing last night. It was fun, I guess. They played Starfuckers by NIN and that made my night. My friend Kitten picked some one up and he went to Dunkie's with us, but that's to be expected. I don't go really to try to hook up with someone, my gaydar is bad enough, and this was a straight night. I just like dancing, and freekin god knows it's the only exersize I get.
My friend is kind of pissing me off though, but I don't know how to say anything. I've been friends with Ed since 7th grade, and we came out together around the same time in High School. He gets depressed really easy and can be high mantainence and I'm always stuck trying to help him with his various boy problems. Last night he kept making snarky remarks about my weight and other stuff. Most people would find themselves mudered in thier sleep after saying some of the stuff he did. I was feeling really good and thought I looked allright (I got me a new bra, always does it) and he managed to completely deflate me. He does it drive-by style and I don't figure it out for a couple seconds, and then he's talking about something else, and I'm left sitting there slackjawed. I can't come up with witty retorts for the life of me so it doesn't matter anyway. It bugs me thoguh that I'll spend days helping him when he's in his funks, but he can knock me down in fifteen minutes. I didn't even dance for most of the rest of the night and I don't think he noticed. He kept bringing up ex-girlfriends and would snarkily say somehting like he didn't know why they were with me and crap like that. How the fuck am I supposed to respond? And he'll say things in such a way that I can't call him on it. I wouldn't even want to if I could.
I need to grow me some balls. Metaphorically, of course.
Blah.
My friend is kind of pissing me off though, but I don't know how to say anything. I've been friends with Ed since 7th grade, and we came out together around the same time in High School. He gets depressed really easy and can be high mantainence and I'm always stuck trying to help him with his various boy problems. Last night he kept making snarky remarks about my weight and other stuff. Most people would find themselves mudered in thier sleep after saying some of the stuff he did. I was feeling really good and thought I looked allright (I got me a new bra, always does it) and he managed to completely deflate me. He does it drive-by style and I don't figure it out for a couple seconds, and then he's talking about something else, and I'm left sitting there slackjawed. I can't come up with witty retorts for the life of me so it doesn't matter anyway. It bugs me thoguh that I'll spend days helping him when he's in his funks, but he can knock me down in fifteen minutes. I didn't even dance for most of the rest of the night and I don't think he noticed. He kept bringing up ex-girlfriends and would snarkily say somehting like he didn't know why they were with me and crap like that. How the fuck am I supposed to respond? And he'll say things in such a way that I can't call him on it. I wouldn't even want to if I could.
I need to grow me some balls. Metaphorically, of course.
Blah.