ok i'm ready to update. i have my music playing, hot tea on the table and girl scout cookies by my side. so, here are my stories for the past 4 days. i've laughed a lot, unfortunately at the other peoples expense.
i went to the gym today which i go every monday. i've been kinda excited to go because they've been getting new equipment the past couple of weeks. they have these new stair steppers, well actually there the stairmaster 7000 pt stepmill. here's a picture for reference.
soooooooo, the first thing i do is jump on one of these bad boys and start climbing my little ass off (literally speaking). i'm climbing away and then this little old woman probably in her 50's comes over and wants to play on one as well. she's around 5'2'', round and stubby. she seems a little wobbly and very unsure about the Stairmaster 7000 pt stepmill but that doesn't stop her. she climbs to the top of the stairs where she is met with the heart of the beast aka the controls. i'm still steppen away and watching all of this out of the corner of me eye's.
she starts to make huffing sounds and just stands there staring. then, finally she quietly turns her head to me and say's "i should have brought my glasses, i just can't see a thing". what she's really saying is "i can't fucking read, please be a doll and help my dumb ass out". so, out the kindness of my heart i help her out.
"ok, just push the START button, no not there, over in the middle. no, over a little more. yes, there just push that". so, after about 20 sec. she finally finds the START button. then the stepper wants more information from her like, which workout would you like, enter time, enter weight.........whooooooo. I helped her with everything except that one. i don't wanna make her feel embarrassed so i say i would turn my head. she enters her weight with no problem then just one more question. which level. she turns to me and asks "which level do i put in". Fuck, i don't know (i don't say that out loud, just in my head). i'm on level 7, i don't know so i just tell her to put in level 3. she puts it in and away she goes and away i go. i finally get back to workout.
i'm working away and start to notice her machine is going fast and fast and fast. i'm thinking in my head "damn, what did she enter, she's flying". i glance over to give her the universal glance for ARE YOU OK.
this woman is flying and she's running as fast as her little legs will take her. i ask her out loud "are you ok". no response. she's to busy trying to stay on this bad boy. finally, she starts to loose it. her legs are flying all over the place. she tries to lift her legs up on the sides like you do on the running machine but the force is to strong. i'm just watching this in pure amazement and trying to plan in my head. "if i get off my machine i can't reach her emergency off button but, i can't just lean over it's about 2 feet apart and i'm only 4'10 and 3/4, what do i do, WHAT DO I DO". i finally cowboy up and jump up on my machine, hang-over and reach with all my might to push the little red button. i look over and the woman is lying down on the machine hanging for dear life. she gracefully steps off the machine of death turns to me and gasps "thank you so much, next time i will remember my glasses". she takes a deep breath, turns and walks out.
it takes me a second to process what just happen and i just started to crack up. i just keep playing it over an over in my head and it's just sooooo funny. this woman was face down as the steps where flying underneath her. ----------------i feel so bad for her, poor woman.
ok,, that was my story for today. i will tell you the story of
scottfree falling into the ocean tomorrow, i'm tired but it was really, really funny.
i went to the gym today which i go every monday. i've been kinda excited to go because they've been getting new equipment the past couple of weeks. they have these new stair steppers, well actually there the stairmaster 7000 pt stepmill. here's a picture for reference.
soooooooo, the first thing i do is jump on one of these bad boys and start climbing my little ass off (literally speaking). i'm climbing away and then this little old woman probably in her 50's comes over and wants to play on one as well. she's around 5'2'', round and stubby. she seems a little wobbly and very unsure about the Stairmaster 7000 pt stepmill but that doesn't stop her. she climbs to the top of the stairs where she is met with the heart of the beast aka the controls. i'm still steppen away and watching all of this out of the corner of me eye's.
she starts to make huffing sounds and just stands there staring. then, finally she quietly turns her head to me and say's "i should have brought my glasses, i just can't see a thing". what she's really saying is "i can't fucking read, please be a doll and help my dumb ass out". so, out the kindness of my heart i help her out.
"ok, just push the START button, no not there, over in the middle. no, over a little more. yes, there just push that". so, after about 20 sec. she finally finds the START button. then the stepper wants more information from her like, which workout would you like, enter time, enter weight.........whooooooo. I helped her with everything except that one. i don't wanna make her feel embarrassed so i say i would turn my head. she enters her weight with no problem then just one more question. which level. she turns to me and asks "which level do i put in". Fuck, i don't know (i don't say that out loud, just in my head). i'm on level 7, i don't know so i just tell her to put in level 3. she puts it in and away she goes and away i go. i finally get back to workout.
i'm working away and start to notice her machine is going fast and fast and fast. i'm thinking in my head "damn, what did she enter, she's flying". i glance over to give her the universal glance for ARE YOU OK.
this woman is flying and she's running as fast as her little legs will take her. i ask her out loud "are you ok". no response. she's to busy trying to stay on this bad boy. finally, she starts to loose it. her legs are flying all over the place. she tries to lift her legs up on the sides like you do on the running machine but the force is to strong. i'm just watching this in pure amazement and trying to plan in my head. "if i get off my machine i can't reach her emergency off button but, i can't just lean over it's about 2 feet apart and i'm only 4'10 and 3/4, what do i do, WHAT DO I DO". i finally cowboy up and jump up on my machine, hang-over and reach with all my might to push the little red button. i look over and the woman is lying down on the machine hanging for dear life. she gracefully steps off the machine of death turns to me and gasps "thank you so much, next time i will remember my glasses". she takes a deep breath, turns and walks out.
it takes me a second to process what just happen and i just started to crack up. i just keep playing it over an over in my head and it's just sooooo funny. this woman was face down as the steps where flying underneath her. ----------------i feel so bad for her, poor woman.
ok,, that was my story for today. i will tell you the story of
scottfree falling into the ocean tomorrow, i'm tired but it was really, really funny.
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Now I want cookies and tea.
if you're gonna tell about me falling in the ocean, be sure and include the part were i was saving volks and stuff.