kaos

Greetings all! I hope everyone is dong grand! Same ol here work and class. This weekend Im doing more ride time with the ambulance service 8a-8p on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Im kinda excited about Monday being that itll be the 4th of July and all lots of drunks crashing cars into shit and getting burnt with fireworks (a morbid thing to look forward to but it makes for an interesting day!). Hopefully Monday Ill get to ride with the same crew I rode with last weekend. Speaking of the other day I went to drop off my notes from the basic arrhythmia (reading EKG strips) class that I took a few months ago to Ben. I went to the back of the ambulance service where the trucks are and asked this guy Greg where Ben was. Another guy that was back there, whom I hadnt met said he was Ben wrong Ben so I told him which one I was looking for and he told me hes over in LA-18 and then yelled Ben, your sister is here!!! and you hear Ben say what?! Who??? The other guys response well, shes too cute to be looking for you for any other reason so I assumed she was your sister. Haha, I thought that was funny.

Josh asked for my assistance in getting revenge on our friend, Terry. Im not sure what Terry did but Josh asked for my ideas on things to do to Terrys car (non destructive). So, tonight after I get off work, Im going to go assist in saran wrapping Terrys car with 7 rolls of saran wrap. I suggested we also put Linburger cheese on the catalytic converter but Josh said thats too mean. Oh man, that smells awful haha. Oh well little does Josh know that after he goes back into the house (he and Terry work in houses right next to each other) my sister is coming to help me saran wrap his van. I think were toilet papering it and some other random things Vaseline on the wind shield perhaps, haha.

Psycho Steve had been sucking up all week, although I had told him I dont want to talk to him any more and to stop calling me. Well, yesterday while in class he threw me a note that said something along the lines of I guess youre really sticking to your guns about not talking to me, so Im just going to leave you alone from now on. Ill stop calling/texting you. If you want to talk to me, you can call me bla bla bla I just wrote super, good thing I deleted your number then. He didnt have anything to say after that. Victory Cyndy. However, the damn liar texted me last night saying good night and how he misses talking to me or some nonsense like that. Apparently Im not being mean enough. Hmm I still havent been able to prove that he busted out my window but if I do bad things will happen.

I think thats all for the update today, at least for the moment soooo have a great 4th everyone! Be safe, Id hate to have to scrape any of ya off the pavement!!! Aaaaaaaaaand last but not least, for your reading enjoyment yet another thing I wrote forever ago. I dont quite like it how it is but I havent decided what I want to change in it so, uhhh yeah.


Im sorry I had to take your life with sorrow in your eyes

I remember your pleading look
The terror in your eyes
The frantic way you begged me please
Not to say good bye

I never meant to break your heart
But what else can I say
I warned you not to fall in love
It had to be this way

The silence now is deafening
So much louder than your screams
Somehow its still so unreal
Like some demented dream

It amuses me to close my eyes
And see your tragic face
Your glazed look as I kissed your forehead
And allowed you one last embrace

You never saw it coming
The blade right through your heart
How could you when you loved me so
And never thought wed part

I still hear your whimper as you backed away
Your tears continued to roll
I look at my hands, still see the red
The fuel of your life and soul

I laughed as you fell to your knees
I couldnt tell you why
Maybe it was nervousness or shock
But dont worry, you didnt make me cry

I know you never wanted that
You always wanted to see me smile
So to show you that Id be ok
I stayed with you for a while

I watched you struggle for your last breath
As blood spilled all around
I tried to say Im sorry
But couldnt make a sound

You still lie there motionless
Your body growing cold
Your voice now stopped vanished gone
Keeping secrets never told

Keep in mind, I never lied
I told you from the start
Id never fall in love again
Youd never hold my heart

The ties are all now severed
And bridges have been burned
With a fragile heart now broken
And a lesson still unlearned

Good bye my dear
You knew the fun would never last
Youre just another ghost of a broken boy
Now hidden in my past