kaos

Drunken Kaos.

Ok so... my mother and her boyfriend go to karaoke at a local pub every week. I usually don't go with but last night decided I would go for a little bit and have a couple beers with them. WELL... some random guy opted to keep buying us mystery shots. Jamie (moms bf) and I don't turn down free alcohol no matter what. Mom didn't like the shots so we took turns taking hers. We proceeded to get shit faced. The random weird guy felt the need to repeatedly serenade me with the same song... like, get down on his knees, grab my hand and just pour his poor drunken heart out. Good times. I told him that I have a boyfriend, and that he didn't need to keep buying us shots but he insisted so whatever. Well, eventually we leave the bar and decide that we need more beer (because more beer is ALWAYS a great idea when you are fit shaced). So, we adventured to the grocery store and got beer. When we were leaving, there was a display of watermelons outside so we thought it would be funny to do a watermelon heist. Like... really, I don't know what makes retarded ideas so brilliant when you're drunk but it was brilliant at the time. So, we are walking back to the house... mom with the beer and Jamie and I with our newly aquired watermelons. I trip crossing the street, get road rash all over my hand aaaaaaaand watermelon all over the street. Needless to say, people driving by thought it was hilarious. So hilarious, in fact, that they didn't notice Jamie peeing on the bushes. Eventually we complete our drunken stumble home and drink one beer each before opting to go to sleep. Ha.

On my way to work today, I saw watermelon smashed all over the street... it made me giggle.

Jamie was thinking about it today and concluded that the mystery shots were apple pie shots. They were the size of two shots, and served in a glass. Aparently these are made with everclear... which explains our ridiculous level of drunken awesomeness.

All in all... victory me.

My hand hurts.

sidewalk 1, me 0...